When People-Pleasing Becomes Self-Abandonment with Kori Strobl

Reza Ghaemi: Hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Rez Podcast. Great conversations have the power to challenge the way we think, inspire growth, and broaden our perspective. My name is Reza Gayemi. The Rez Podcast explores topics that matter from personal development relationships to business, culture, mindset, and the everyday questions that shape our lives. all right, I'm gonna introduce today's guest. Corey Struble. Sorry, Corey, did I say your name right?

Kori Strobl: Nailed it.

Reza Ghaemi: Okay, amazing. Corey Strobel is a coach and guide who believes that people pleasing is often misunderstood. She explains that what we call people pleasing is actually a form of self-abandonment driven by relation show relational anxiety rather than simply being too kind or having difficulty saying no. Corey holds a master's degree in spiritual psychology and brings together two decades of personal study, a background in yoga philosophy, and her. Own lived experience of recovering from people pleasing. She's also the creator of a recovering people pleasers guide to belonging to yourself, which holds people move, which hold helps people move beyond recognizing the patterns and beginning and begin making real changes in their lives. Corey, welcome to the Res Podcast.

Kori Strobl: Hi, thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to this.

Reza Ghaemi: Likewise, Corey. Thank you so much for being here. so people pleasing is something that I think a lot of us struggle with, Cory, right? Like it's not something that is just

Kori Strobl: Yes, sir.

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah. So let's talk about that. Like, why does why do we people please? And let's get into that a little bit.

Kori Strobl: Yeah. Well people are often talking we always hear about people pleasing and we usually hear about it from the perspective of the behaviors. In other words, I have a hard time saying no. I'm just choosing to be nice in a situation, even though maybe it's not what's true for me. Maybe for me a big one is like, what do you want to eat for dinner in a group of people? I don't know, whatever you want, right? Like Like that that flexibility or adaptability, right? So what what I found in my own life and then also just working with people over the years is that the People who are people pleasers tend to be very other referenced. In other words, we're constantly seeking ourselves in the people around us. So to the degree that there is no core sense of self inside of us, we tend, because of that, we tend to have heightened states of things like empathy. open-mindedness, flexibility, generosity. We have these really beautiful qualities that any relationship would really benefit from having in as a part of it. The trick is that we often lean on those qualities in order to help us feel okay in a relationship. In other words, we give those to the other person to the degree that we don't give them to ourselves anymore. There's, in other words, everything's offered out, very little is tuned in. Right. So I often say people pleasers are other reference. What's going on in the room? One of my favorite quotes that someone used one time is, I'm okay if you're okay. I'm okay if the people in my life are okay. As long as everyone around me is okay, I'm okay. Right? So this is speaking to the idea that what people pleasers really want is to feel okay. That's what all that's all we all of us want.

Reza Ghaemi: just gonna say then my mother or your mother or all of our mothers are they people pleasing? Because my mom, my mom like

Kori Strobl: Well, it it certainly is a quality very very competitive.

Reza Ghaemi: so there's a little lag, but like my mom is

Kori Strobl: There was a lack, yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: literally literally what you just said, which is I'm okay if you're okay. That's my mom.

Kori Strobl: Sure, and and I think there's a degree of that that has been taught as a form of femininity and certainly mothering. But I talk to many people that it's not just women that are people pleasing at all, right? So lots of men are also people pleasers. So even though we probably have a whole generation of women that we're serving in that way, it's not just women that have this quality inside of them. So part of it is that the reason that I can't I struggle to feel okay inside is because I actually never learned how to feel okay just inside of me. In other words, I didn't learn how to deal with my own emotions. I didn't learn how to ask myself what I need and want, and then be responsible for what it is that I discovered. I never learned how to do that. What I did learn how to do though is read the room. to be able to manage the emotional environment in the room and to preemptively know what everyone else in the room needs and what's true for them and to take care of them. Those are the skill sets that I grew and developed, all very other referenced.

Reza Ghaemi: Interesting. You know, and and what's funny is if my mom, by the way, Corey, if my mom just woke up in the morning and told called me or I called her and said, I'm gonna go to Niagara Falls for the weekend by myself and screw you, Reza. I'm not making you lunch, I'm not bringing you dinner. Do you know how happy that would make me, Corey?

Kori Strobl: Right, right.

Reza Ghaemi: But she doesn't do those things. It breaks my heart.

Kori Strobl: Right. Well, again, it's it is so there's there's a few things. Let's talk about the self-abandonment, right? So if I'm in a relationship with somebody and that person that I'm in relationship with means a lot to me. In other words, that relationship really matters, then my way of taking care of that relationship is gonna be to take care of you. And if anything inside of me might cause tension in the relationship, it becomes a problem I have to solve. So I'm going, let's say I need maybe it's going to Niagara Falls. Might I'm worried that it's gonna cause tension in you, that you're gonna be worried I'm gonna fall in, or you're not gonna eat lunch that day, right? That somehow there's gonna be an effect on you. I'll either decide not to go or I'll make sure that I've got your world taken care of before I go. In other words, I'm gonna try and manage your okayadness before I make a decision like that. Right, because what I'm gonna try and do is take any tension out of the relational field. And if tension comes in the relational field, I'm gonna try and quiet it as quickly as possible. Because I'm so uncomfortable when there's tension in our relationship.

Reza Ghaemi: Now, when it comes to not your mother, which I gave the example of, let's say you're in a marriage or in a partnership, you know, girlfriend, boyfriend situation or boyfriend, boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, that kind of stuff.

Kori Strobl: Mm-hmm.

Reza Ghaemi: What is a healthy balance between what kind of what you're saying?

Kori Strobl: Yeah, so You know what the question then becomes, well, what brings tension in a relationship? And tension can be brought by differences. I want Mexican food, you want Chinese food. That's a difference. Now what are we gonna do? Right? And so if I just say, it's fine, I don't really want Mexican food, I've taken away the tension that that would happen if both of us wanted different things, right? So the then there's another form of tension. If I express feelings to you like, wow, that really hurt my feelings, and you you don't have the capacity to receive that and you get defensive, me telling you that is gonna cause tension in the relationship. So I'm either not gonna tell you or I'm gonna tell you in a way that's kind of soft and trying to minimize it, or I'll just try and like take care of the hurt myself. Right, so anything to manage the tension in the relationship. So the relational fear is that there's gonna be tension, and if there's tension, I'm gonna lose this connection, I'm gonna lose the love. So as long

Reza Ghaemi: Mm-hmm.

Kori Strobl: as I can manage that tension and keep it down, then everything will be okay. I'll be okay.

Reza Ghaemi: And you're saying Yes, go ahead. No, no, you go ahead. Little legged. No, no.

Kori Strobl: But the tr go ahead. Sorry, there's a there's a little lag, so I'm sorry if I'm talking. Yeah, yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Kori Strobl: I forget where I was going. It's okay. Go ahead, what are you gonna say?

Reza Ghaemi: You were saying the tension, to l you're lessening the tension by by doing what you're all that stuff, all

Kori Strobl: All the behaviors, yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: the behaviors, but then

Kori Strobl: Yeah, so so then what happens is that I then c hold the tension. So instead of there being tension in the relationship, now there's tension in me. And so that starts to grow in a in sort of like resentment or right, or sort of pulling back or holding back, or just feeling not enough. Like I'll start to hold the tension here. So I, but if the tension is with me, I feel more in control of it. I feel like I can do something with it. If the tension is between us, I'm so afraid of what you're going to do with it that that makes me anxious.

Reza Ghaemi: How you fix that?

Kori Strobl: Part of it is learning how to tolerate tension in a relationship. This is why it's not so easy to tell somebody, just speak your truth. Just say no when you mean no, just set a boundary. It's not easy to tell someone who's a people pleaser to do that because guess what's gonna happen the moment you try and set a boundary for the first time? It's gonna cause tension. So a lot of people when they're new at setting boundaries, which again I'm not a fan of, we'll talk about in a minute, when people try and set boundaries, what happens is they often will say, I feel guilty. I don't know if you've ever done that. You've said you've set a boundary and then you immediately sort of like pull back and you say, I feel so guilty. Right. I

Reza Ghaemi: Yep. All the time. All the time.

Kori Strobl: I'm gonna challenge that, and I don't think that we feel guilty. I think we feel anxious about the other person's response. So I

Reza Ghaemi: Mm.

Kori Strobl: set a boundary. I'm not, I don't feel guilty, I didn't do anything wrong, but uh-oh, how are they gonna respond? And that's the feeling that happens inside. So learning to tolerate our own feelings is a huge part of recovering from people pleasing. If I can't tolerate the discomfort inside of me, I I will constantly try and sort of avoid this tension in.

Reza Ghaemi: Corey, can I ask you a question? Because I for some reason my mom is coming into this this whole time.

Kori Strobl: Let's talk about your mama. Yeah, what she got?

Reza Ghaemi: So how do I s what is the difference between like my girlfriend and my mama in in the sense of boundary setting?

Kori Strobl: Well, that's I mean it's tricky because you're also an adult now, so the relationship with your mom is different. But ultimately, you know, the parent-child dynamic is very unique in the sense that it's the it's the only relationship where there is when you're a child anyways, there is a dependency that's appropriate. Children are dependent on their parents. So it creates a power differential that that really matters. When we with your girlfriend, the idea is that she is a peer to you. There is no dependency. You're two equals, you're peers in relationship with each other. So you want to show up as peers. So if one person is constantly people pleasing the other one, you're not showing up as a peer. In fact, you're you're sort of like abandoning yourself and giving them the power in order to avoid tension that might happen if you're actually equals.

Reza Ghaemi: Okay. Do you have a book, Corey, or?

Kori Strobl: I'm working on one. I'm working on a book called Belonging to Myself and it's gonna share my journey of all of this.

Reza Ghaemi: Okay, great. so I just wanted to ask you so t you make an important distinction between setting boundary and holding a boundary. What's the difference?

Kori Strobl: Mm-hmm.

Reza Ghaemi: Well, you just talked about that actually. So let's okay. Yeah, let's go more

Kori Strobl: let's go more into it though. There's more. Let's let's

Reza Ghaemi: into that. Okay, okay. Yeah.

Kori Strobl: Let's go more into that. So I work with a lot of people that are like, hey, I set a boundary and they didn't respect it. I don't know if you've ever experienced this. They didn't respect my boundary. And in my experience, the only person who doesn't respect my boundaries is me. So if I say to you, hey, I don't want you to talk to me that way, that's a request. Because that I can't make I don't anyone with children knows. You cannot really control what comes out. Or goes in someone's mouth. They have total control over that, right? So I'm making a request, and that person either can comply or not reply. That's not a boundary. A boundary says this is me. When someone talks to me this way, I start to shut down and I'm not available for the conversation. So if you talk to me that way, I am going to step away, I'm gonna take a breath, and then if when you calm down, I'll be available to talk again. That's a boundary. because that's something that's I'm defining myself. I'm saying no there is so that so the way boundary work is set up right now is that we still are other referencing. We're saying that boundaries are with the other person. And really, boundaries are with us. This is why I say we're holding them. So, in order to hold a boundary, it requires three things. The first thing is to ask ourselves: what's true for me? What's true about me? Who am I? I want to define myself. So I'm someone who doesn't want to engage in conversations where someone's disrespectful. Awesome. That's me defining me, right? The second thing I have to do is I have to believe myself that that's true about me. In other words, that's real, and I have to give myself permission to say that's o that that's okay that that's real, even if somebody else might not agree. In other words, I don't need agreement. I have to believe myself. And then the third thing is I have to now be responsible for this information. If I'm truly somebody who doesn't engage in conversations where someone talks to me disrespectfully, then I'm responsible for managing that. I'm gonna step away. I'm gonna end the conversation. I'm not going to engage a conversation with somebody who's dysregulated. So that's a boundary. That's saying this is me and who I am.

Reza Ghaemi: Wow, that that's so cool the way you put that. And it it just makes me like people think this stuff is just so easy and but it's complicated. How like you went to you

Kori Strobl: It is. It's because

Reza Ghaemi: went to school for this stuff. You probably did your thesis or something around this.

Kori Strobl: Well, I mean I feel like my life is my thesis right now.

Reza Ghaemi: No, like cause you're so good at explaining it. So the point of that was your yourself versus

Kori Strobl: The the other person. I don't so I

Reza Ghaemi: The other person.

Kori Strobl: think a lot of pe I think a lot of people pleasers are that line is blurry. So if we say a boundary is defines where I end and you begin. For a people pleaser, like for me, I'm somebody who could always define myself. But the moment that who I was caused tension in a relationship, it would get blurry. In other words, I'd start to negotiate that line. Well, maybe I'm not that. Person, maybe I can tolerate this conversation, maybe I can't, right? So all of a sudden that line blurs and there no longer is a me and a you. Now there's just this relational field in the other person. I'm gone. I left myself. And so for a lot of people pleasers, the definition of me and you, it gets funny in there and it gets blurred and we lose ourselves in that.

Reza Ghaemi: Mm-hmm. Okay. boy, boy. I'm just like, okay. this is so exciting for me. This is so cool. Because like for me, it's like I am definitely okay. Does this I'm trying to does this happen like for example, why is it that I'm able to set a boundary on certain scenarios, but then not in certain scenarios? Like, I'll give you an example. I went to Charlotte. Went to

Kori Strobl: Yeah, tell me. Mm-hmm.

Reza Ghaemi: Charlotte, North Carolina for a podcasting conference this last week.

Kori Strobl: Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: I was wearing a Donald Trump shirt. Okay. And there was a guy that just came to me and he was anti-Semitic and he was anti-Trump and he was all that stuff. And I did not know

Kori Strobl: Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Reza Ghaemi: how to set a boundary in that scenario. I was just listening. And I even went to the point to say, I don't know enough about politics, leave me alone. And he you know, like and the anti Semitism to me, that's a boundary. I don't like it when people are anti Semitic.

Kori Strobl: Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: Be because I empathize. And

Kori Strobl: Sure.

Reza Ghaemi: so he was he was doing that. And look, I I don't I didn't know what to do. So gimme give me some practical

Kori Strobl: Sure.

Reza Ghaemi: guidance, please.

Kori Strobl: Well yeah, so what so the first question I have is number one, what was true for you? So I'm imagining when he came over and he started saying anti-Semitic things that you felt something in your body. Do you remember that? Do you remember feeling like a moment of like, uh-oh.

Reza Ghaemi: Yes.

Kori Strobl: Great. So that was your truth. That was your body telling you this is not for me. This the it was sort of that was the line that said that, right? The next thing is you had to believe yourself. Go ahead.

Reza Ghaemi: Well, okay, but but here's here's here's the other thing.

Kori Strobl: Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: Sorry, there's this stupid lag going on to the listeners. But the other thing was I was also look, I I was also empathizing with him a little bit because I have so much empathy towards other people that I didn't wanna you know what I mean? I'm a I'm a weird case.

Kori Strobl: Sure. That's right.

Reza Ghaemi: I

Kori Strobl: No, no, you're not. You're very normal. So what happened is in that moment you felt, uh-oh, this isn't for me. But then your empathy didn't stay with yourself. It extended over to him. And you were like, I don't want to be rude. I don't want to be right. Like he's just expressing his views. So you lost the empath,

Reza Ghaemi: Exactly.

Kori Strobl: you lost the empathy for yourself, which is, I don't want to be in this conversation. This isn't true for me. That would have been you being empathetic towards yourself. And instead, you Over-empathized with him and wanted to take care of him in that moment. I don't want to be rude to him. I don't want him to have a negative experience. So in that moment, your line blurred. You no longer had a solid line that says, this is who I am and what I am or not, what I'm willing and not willing to do, because your empathy extended over to him. So it would, it's one of those things you have learned to over-emphize outwardly and under-empathize with yourself.

Reza Ghaemi: Interesting. and then why what

Kori Strobl: So empathy

Reza Ghaemi: about the Trump shirt? should I feel guilty about wearing the Trump shirt?

Kori Strobl: Again, I mean it it's so tricky. It's sort of I think you it was tr tr it's a tricky thing. I mean, I'm in a I'm in California, you know, like it's a it's

Reza Ghaemi: Okay.

Kori Strobl: a bold move, right? It's a bold move. But again, it is it a bold

Reza Ghaemi: Yes, yes, especially at a conference. Yeah.

Kori Strobl: Yeah. It's but at the same time, like it's a it's a way that you walked out into the world and said, This is part of who I am. You you declared it. And so, but you made a declaration in a field where people feel free to come up and comment on who you are. Right? So by making that declaration, people take it as an invitation to engage you around that identity that you stated so clearly.

Reza Ghaemi: Look, Corey, he's the president of the fucking United States. It's not like

Kori Strobl: Mm-hmm.

Reza Ghaemi: like listen, have some respect. But let's not this show is not about politics, but

Kori Strobl: Well, yeah, no, no, it's not. But what I want you to do is like what I want you to see is that you showed up and said, This is this is part of me. This is something that I'm that defines me as somebody who respects Trump enough that I'm wearing the shirt that want that lets everybody know, right? That's a declaration and lets everyone know this is a boundary, this is part of who I am. People had reactions to that. And for you, if you it's one of those things, it will help you when you wear shirts like that, if you get more comfortable with people's reactions. So

Reza Ghaemi: Okay. Okay. And by the way, the boundary setting there, is it that if that happens to me again, for example, some somebody just trying to own, you know, school me or what's the word I'm looking for? Somebody trying to just make me like dominate me. Come

Kori Strobl: Ca they camaches, yeah, yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: at yeah. What is the way, just practical step by step? What is the way to act in that scenario? Do I just say, listen, I gotta go. Like do I just go away? Like what what what are you

Kori Strobl: Yeah. Yeah. This conversation's not for me. Goodbye. This conversation,

Reza Ghaemi: Okay, okay, okay.

Kori Strobl: I'm I don't want to. And you know what I want you to hear is if you say something very simple like, hey, I don't want to engage in a conversation about this, I'll s goodbye. And you walk away, you didn't do or say anything mean. You weren't mean. Right, that person felt entitled to walk up to you and start sharing this information simply from the shirt you were wearing. You he he alm it's almost like you invited it, but you didn't. You just wore a shirt. And so you have every right to say, you're welcome to your reaction to my shirt, but I don't have to stay here for it. And that's not mean. You didn't deny his reaction. You didn't say you shouldn't feel that way. You just said, I'm not here for it.

Reza Ghaemi: Okay. Sounds good. Sorry I got a little off tracked, but I had to ask you about the question because okay.

Kori Strobl: No, I think you're right on track. I think I think you're right on track. No, I think it's a very I think that was a really good, clean example of how you tried to take care of him, a total stranger who you don't have a relationship with. In that moment, you tried to take care of him over taking care of yourself.

Reza Ghaemi: Hmm. I see. Okay. Amazing. Corey, I just wanted to ask you if you were to apply that example to how do I say, would it be different if you if if you if I was in that setting with somebody that wasn't a stranger, but somebody that I loved and they loved me, right? We always,

Kori Strobl: Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: we always You know what I mean? So

Kori Strobl: Sure. Yeah, so let's say that you defined yourself as somebody who l likes Trump enough to wear the shirt, right? Like that's a certain because you can respect him and not wear the shirt, but to wear the shirt shows a a different level of connection to him, right? So you can you can have that and that's your right to have it. And if somebody you love disagrees with you, you can say you have you're it's okay for you to disagree with me, but I'm gonna ask you to do so respectfully. Right. So in other words, I'm willing to stay in this conversation with you, but I don't, I'm not willing to, if you start bad mouthing or you know, being anti-Semitic or all of that stuff, I'm not willing to engage that conversation. So I love you, you're welcome to your views. I just don't want to have that conversation with you if that's the way you want to, if that's the direction that you want to take it. And so what you're saying is, me, I'm not willing to participate. You're not saying anything about the other person, like I can't believe you said that. my God, you believe those things. But you leave them alone. They're welcome to. have their feelings, just like you're welcome to have your feelings.

Reza Ghaemi: And wait, what's the difference between the stranger then again?

Kori Strobl: So the stranger, it's well, it's interesting, right? Because the stranger, there was no risk for you there, which is what's so interesting, right? In a relationship, there's risk because no, if we disagree, are we not gonna be able to stay in connection or is are we gonna lose the love or the good feelings because we disagree on that? But it's so interesting that with a stranger that you also were concerned about them. So for you, it's just noticing that in that moment, you notice how quickly you leave yourself to take care of strangers in certain situations. Right, there might be other situations where you're fine to do it, but in that situation, you just notice, wow, I was willing to take care of this total stranger over myself. Interesting. What would it look like for me to start to take care of myself and let him take care of himself? Because the the solution isn't sort of like F you, dude. The solution is like you take care of you, I'm gonna take care of me. That's different.

Reza Ghaemi: This is so cool. I this is why I love doing podcasts because like

Kori Strobl: Ha ha.

Reza Ghaemi: to me, this was like a three hundred dollar therapy session. So thank you for that. I don't have to talk about therapists anymore about this issue that I had. so I appreciate it. Yeah.

Kori Strobl: Yeah. But but one of the one of the things I want you to notice, and it's really important, and this is what I do with people, and this is something to offer your audience too, is I want you to remember that feeling when he came to you and you felt the uh-oh, this isn't a conversation I want to have. Right? That moment was a really important moment for you to notice when you felt that. And can you stay with that feeling? And can you believe yourself when you feel that way? That was your boundary surfacing, but you didn't stay with it long enough. And instead, you jumped over to him. So when again, a lot of these things happen inside our feeling body. And rather than staying with the feeling, we jump to the other person. So the opportunity is to learn how to feel your own feelings instead of running over and trying. trying to take care of his feelings.

Reza Ghaemi: Now, I I'm gonna forget about the questions that I had listed down for you, Corey, because forget those. Something that comes to mind is

Kori Strobl: Yeah. It's all good.

Reza Ghaemi: then where is where do you draw the line between a selfish person and a selfless person? Does that is that in there's any relevance to what we're talking about?

Kori Strobl: Well, I there's relevance because a lot of people pleasers struggle to start to consider themselves because they think that if they include themselves in the conversation, suddenly they're being selfish. The the so it's sort of like it's it's extreme thinking. And usually extreme thinking happens in young parts of ourselves. So when I'm saying that we're recovering from people pleasing and we don't want to overly be responsible or empathetic with other people, I'm what I am saying is that we need to be a part of that conversation. In other words, we're trying to include ourselves, not dominate. So right now we leave ourselves. What would happen if you empathized with yourself in that moment? And you could still Empathize with him. Wow, this guy wants to have this conversation, but I'm not available for it. I guess he'll have to deal with those feelings. I'm gonna deal with my feelings of not wanting to be a part of this, right? So it's it's how do I include myself, not how do I over-dominate the situation. And just to people pleasers are often so far from that that they'll have a tendency to think any inclusion of themselves means they're selfish.

Reza Ghaemi: I see. I see. I see. I see. I can't wait till your book comes out, Corey. So how do people

Kori Strobl: Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: this has been such a great conversation? I've learned so much. I hope the listeners can

Kori Strobl: Thank you.

Reza Ghaemi: understand the, you know, all this stuff. Great takeaways. where can people find you and how do you help other people by the work that you do?

Kori Strobl: Yeah. Well I just want to say one more thing on that because I this is like the the

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kori Strobl: truth about what what we're looking for is equality. We're looking to meet people, other adults in peer-to-peer relationships. So we get rid of selfish or selfless when we just stand as equals with the other people in our life. So that's that's sort of what we're aiming for. And that's a position where everybody like it deepens the connection with people when you show up as a peer and you show up as an equal. Yeah. So that's that's a distinction between selfish and selfless that I hope comes through. As far as how to reach me, I have a

Reza Ghaemi: And and does

Kori Strobl: Go ahead.

Reza Ghaemi: sorry, Corey, when you say equal, so you're saying to not think you're better than somebody else? And you're and or

Kori Strobl: Correct or less than somebody.

Reza Ghaemi: less than. Okay, okay.

Kori Strobl: Yeah, I'm equal. Like the the well, I'm just gonna stay with your example because it's really real. I'm my feelings matter equal to the guy who came up to talk to me. They matter equal, not less than. And the moment you left yourself, you were less than and he was more than, right? So it's sort of like, no, we're equal. Both of our feelings matter. Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: Okay, okay, beautiful, beautiful.

Kori Strobl: Yeah. So I have a website with my name, Corey Strobel dot com, and on there there's you can sign up for a newsletter and I send those out every few weeks usually around this topic. And I have my online course, a recovering people pleasers guide to belonging to yourself. That's a six module course, and I really tried to make that accessible. It's fifty-nine dollars. So my goal was to make that available to as many people as possible. and then I work privately with people and take them on a journey where we really take the work deeper. Into their own personal life. And it is, it is so amazing to see people discover themselves because that's really what's missing is someone just being more of themselves in their own life. And it's really beautiful to see what's possible when they do that, that level of authenticity.

Reza Ghaemi: Corey, I was just signing up to your newsletter, but I think there's a glitch on your website because I clicked the

Kori Strobl: no.

Reza Ghaemi: mail I clicked the mail icon and it's why isn't it loading? Because I was gonna subscribe to your newsletter. I'm definitely gonna do that. Okay. Well I'll figure that out later.

Kori Strobl: sweet. Yeah. Yeah. I'll I'll double yeah, thank you for thank you for telling me that. I will definitely go on and double check that it's working. All my newsletters Yeah. I'll I'll double check it though.

Reza Ghaemi: It it could just be my internet. yeah.

Kori Strobl: That's a really good piece of feedback. but all of my past newsletters are on my blog, the self-exploration blog that's on there. So there's a lot of good stuff on there for people pleasers.

Reza Ghaemi: And you have a free consultation, book a free call?

Kori Strobl: I do, 30 minutes free, we can talk because it's really important that we are able to connect in order for the work to work. So I we spend that first half hour to see if it's a good fit. And then from there we figure out how we want to work together in the future. Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: I I definitely think it's a great fit. Corey is so flexible in terms of she's so equal, if that makes any

Kori Strobl: Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: sense. She doesn't judge she doesn't judge you if you don't if you like Donald Trump.

Kori Strobl: I'm on this journey, man.

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah, yeah. That's good. I'm I'm great. I'm grateful

Kori Strobl: Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: for for you to to be on the show, Corey. It's been such an honor and you've helped me and I hope the listeners so much today. and then your Instagram, are you on Instagram?

Kori Strobl: I am. I have I'm on Instagram and Facebook. That's about all I can handle.

Reza Ghaemi: I know. Forget the TikToks of the of the world. Sweet. So

Kori Strobl: my god, it's too much. It's too much.

Reza Ghaemi: thank you again, Corey. I'm gonna hit stop on the recording.