Real Connection or Just Attention? Inside Live Streaming with Nick “DJ Yaboi”

Reza Ghaemi: Hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to the Res Podcast where we have real conversations about dating relationships, human connection, mental health, and experiences that shape who we are. Today we're talking about something that's been that's become a huge part of how people connect, social streaming. You can jump on an app, go live, and suddenly you're talking to people from all over the world. Friendships form, people date, communities develop, but it raises an interesting question: are these platforms actually bringing us closer together or are they filling a void? Created by how disconnected we've become in real life. My guest today is Nick Healing. He goes by DJ Yaboy. Joining me from San Diego, California. Nick is into golf, sports, streaming, and he's become a frequent and successful streamer on the Meet Me app, which is actually how Nick and I originally connected. We recently caught up again, and I thought he'd be a great person to have this conversation with because he spent countless hours interacting with people in this world. In this world first hand. Nick, welcome to the rest podcast.

YaBoi: Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Excited to be here.

Reza Ghaemi: Amazing. So Nick, let's start with your story. what originally made you start streaming on Meet Me out of all the streaming apps available? And what made you stick with it?

YaBoi: It's funny. So before Meet Me, I was a podcaster. I was on YouTube doing my own podcast for a couple of years. And I it was actually slowly growing in in succession up until COVID happened. And so that kind of put a big wrench into everything that I was doing. A lot of the sponsors I had pulled out and stuff like that. So I was looking for a different platform to go live on. I saw people doing stuff, you know, also on YouTube, other content creation and then TikTok and stuff like that. But Then I noticed this one. I was actually just going through the internet one day and I came across this app called Meet Me. And I was like, well, this is interesting. So I downloaded it. I clicked on it and I kind of just saw there was a go live button. And I was like, well, this would be interesting. Let's see what this is all about. You know, because I see it all what it said was, you know, just be in front of a camera, just doing whatever it is you want to do. Excuse me. And so I gave it a click. Next thing I knew, I was on the app for about a couple of weeks and I started get garnishing a little bit of a following and stuff like that and it just kinda started slow rolling and snowballing into something and it really just turned into what I'm doing now where I've got basically a studio here where I do everything in and it was just a way for it was just something I kinda fell into to answer the question.

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah. So for me actually I started it started in COVID times and I was actually on POF at the time and I noticed the live feature of POF. I'm like, this is cool. I can like go live and maybe meet somebody like on a to go on a date with. Turned out that it's totally that's not the function of the live at all. Is not for dating. I mean, it is, but it isn't. So I actually wanted to ask you. So for me, that's how I got on POF Live at the time, and then now it's not a thing anymore. And then I found out Meet Me was the main one. But what are people really looking for here, Nick? Is it entertainment, attention, friendship, dating, validation, or simply wanting to feel like they belong somewhere? What is it about Meet Me?

YaBoi: I think it's I mean I think it's all of those in a in and of themselves. I think that depending on the person, it depends on what they're looking for. You know, I think some people come on here with the intention of becoming the next big, you know, internet sensation. Some people come on here with the intention of just getting away from their personal life. You know, it's just an outlet. For example, I always joke around in my lives, I always say like this is my alternative to going to the bar. saving a fortune by live streaming instead of going to the bar. There's no difference than somebody jumping into my live stream. It's like pulling up a bar stool and starting a conversation. But you know, there's there's so many different reasons why people come on the app, good and bad. People have good intentions coming on the app. And then there's also people who have bad intentions who come on the app too. So I think really it's just more of an individualistic type of thing, I think, more than anything else.

Reza Ghaemi: So Nick, let's talk about the gifting as aspect. I and I I'm sorry I didn't actually kind of talk to you offline about this topic, but hopefully,

YaBoi: Take it on. Good.

Reza Ghaemi: yeah, hopefully that's okay with you. But the gifting aspect is is a little bit to me a little bit bonkers in the sense that the gifting it's very expensive. Like we're not talking about five dollars or ten dollars here. We're talking about hundreds of dollars in one stream or even more. that people talk to me about that and how do you actually afford to to stay on this app, develop these connections and not have to go into debt for it.

YaBoi: I person so this is just anecdotal from my perspective. I have never been one of the people who have ever thought it was necessary to put money into this app. There are some people who find it necessary that if they it's they find it almost as like a pay-to-play type situation. Where I've always been more of the just be yourself and if it comes, it comes. I never my I never had the intention of ever coming onto this app to either gift people or be gifted. I always joke around in my my lives that be being gifted is just a bit of a perk that I get to sometimes, you know, reap the benefits of. I've it's but to to go back to what you were saying, there are people on this app who have put themselves into thousands and thousands of dollars of debt almost as if it was an addiction. And then there are other people who, for some reason, they put across their own budget for this app. the whether it's a hundred dollars, whether it's a thousand dollars, whether it's five thousand dollars. There are people who have their own set budget that re allocates back to this app. And for some people for that, it's either they just love to gift. There are people who just genuinely like to come in here and give people the gifts and watch the reactions and stuff. There are but then there are the other people on here who do that what's called they trade back and forth with each other. I give you, you know, five hundred, you give me five hundred and we just go back and forth. With the same 500 and we'll both build each other up. So there's the other aspect of that. I've always thought that was kind of like a dirty pool aspect of it. It's kind of like a dishonest way of doing it. You know, it's as opposed to like working on your following. You know, for example, I have over almost 16,000 followers on this app, and I don't take any one of them for granted. I every single person who's ever clicked the favorite button on me, I've always said thank you so much, and that means the world to me. So every person is a bit different in that aspect where you you don't have to even if you don't want to, you don't have to spend money, but some people f almost feel as though they're obligated to.

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah, and I think I'm one of those people, Nick, because when I go to certain streams, right, and I'm spending some time there, I kind of feel this pressure a little bit that I have to gift, especially if there's some rapport that's built. I don't know, maybe it's psychological.

YaBoi: It it I think, you know, maybe it's just because you feel like you're watching somebody and you're and they're taking their time to do it that you feel obligated to reciprocate because that they're taking their time. But at the end of the day, we all have jobs. We this isn't this isn't this is a very, very, very small percentage of people's primary source of income. And so at the end of the day, yes, I mean, gifts are always appreciated in their love, but never feel obligated. That's one thing I would have to tell you. Never feel obligated.

Reza Ghaemi: I okay, I I don't even know if it's obligated is the right term for me. It's more like going to a casino and it's that slot theory machine effect. It's like it's just so fun to gift and to to make somebody else happy. And the gifts are so fun. You know, they have like this icon, this graphic, this, you know, these little animations, all this stuff. So you gotta be responsible because it is expensive. It's pretty fucking expensive.

YaBoi: And at the end of the day, yeah, it's not it doesn't have to be and there's nothing wrong with, you know, taking a few bucks out of your account and sending people, you know, the the crane game or the dancing banana or something. That that's fun stuff, you know. People, it's fun to see it on the screen. As long as it doesn't be like, I guess obligated was or as long as it doesn't become like you feel like you like even if like I for example, when people come into my life, I tell them I'd much rather you I'd instead of you sending me 20 different gifts and not saying a single word, I'd rather you talk to me. the entire time you're there and not send me a single gift. That's why I I mean, if if for any for any reason you feel like you like to, that's awesome and thank you. But there's no, I always try to make sure that there's a no stress pressure. But not in everybody's life's not like that though at the end of the day. There are plenty of people who who honestly pressure people into giving to gifting them too. There is another, like I said, there are people with good intentions on this app and there are people with bad intentions on this app.

Reza Ghaemi: For sure. I I don't really I'm not into the meet me politics or the circle of, you know, people that knows all the people that are top streamers. But I know some people make a ton of money from streaming. Do you do you have the numbers, Nick? Like to see how much are people actually making from this shit?

YaBoi: There I know some people and I won't name any names, but I know some people on the app who are pulling in, you know, anywhere between five to fifteen thousand dollars a month on that app.

Reza Ghaemi: You're kidding me. Wow.

YaBoi: Yep. But those people that I know who are doing that are also some of the they've been on the app the longest. They've they've created a not even just a a image, but a a brand for themselves. A lot of these people, like they create these not agencies, but like they'll put like they create like affiliates, you know, the people who affiliate with them and they'll have like things in their names that affiliate with each other. And so they create this like family kind of thing. And other people, there are plenty of entertainers on this app too who use this app as another way of you know forwarding their entertainment career as well. I've seen people on this app who have had full game show production, like television production game shows on this app and somebody found them and then introduced them to somebody and now they're working on a real game show. You know, the app has and like for example, I first started off DJing when I was on this app. I'm working in the music industry and I've met people who advanced my career just through this app. So There are a lot of successful people who use this app as a tool to further their success.

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah, boy, you mentioned DJing. I actually have to give Meet Me some credit for for building me as a DJ. And I have to give DJ NorCal some credit for that too, because one of the top streamers on this app, hopefully it's okay for us to mention her name, DJ Norical. I mean, we're saying positive things, right? Basically, she

YaBoi: Nothing but positivity here.

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah, yeah. So she had a show and she brought the DJing community together during COVID. And it started from COVID, I believe, right? Or it was right after COVID.

YaBoi: I think it was right after COVID. It was like COVID it like COVID it was like during the COVID dust off.

Reza Ghaemi: We took that shit seriously, Nick. Like I remember

YaBoi: yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: preparing for a ton of hours for that show. And the fact that I took that so seriously, it had an impact on my DJ career. It allowed me to like start getting more gigs out of it and developing my skill set. So shout out to DJ Norcal. I know she she's kind of had her up and downs with the app, but anyways, so there's there are I think with any app, Nick, like you can either get good stuff from it or it you can use it in a bad way. And I think Meet Me is one of those platforms that it is there is that toxicity from the trollers that come on and the crazy people that try to ruin your mood. We we all know that those people exist on the app, but then there's so much so many good people too. So how do you how do you like manage your mental health? If if you know what I mean with with some of the drama that does clearly exist on this app.

YaBoi: So at at the end of the day, after each or even before I go streaming every day, I always tell myself, it's just a screen. Okay. You're talking into a screen and you know, you have to realize that there's these people could be thousands of miles away. They could be there's you don't know what they're going through. But the motto I have in my stream, whenever we go, 'cause on this app, for people who don't know, you can do like the Omega thing where you can just randomly You know, go into a FaceTime with another person that you've never met before, and you can just start a conversation with them. And so I've always had the motto on my lives and my whole all of my people who watch me, my my followers know we are wholesome to wholesome people and we are toxic to toxic people. It's that simple. You know, if they if you want to be an asshole to me, trust me, I can be an asshole to you. But if you if I ask you how your day was and you tell me you know it hasn't been the best day, you know, I've had a you I've had some ups and downs. I'm gonna ask you, all right, what's going on? Like, how do we make your day better? It's all you just have to realize that at the end of the day, you're just talking to a screen and 90% of the shit that these people say on this app, they would never say to your face. And you have to

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah.

YaBoi: just understand that, like, cool, because you're a keyboard warrior and that you have this metal magical box that like. That you can just say whatever you want and do and expect that there's no repercussions. You gotta realize that people are going to take advantage of that. And those people normally aren't living the most sparkling lives when they turn off that camera. They're not living in the most laps of luxury either. Okay. So you gotta realize these people are probably going back to their studio apartment and this is all they've got. All right. Like this is they they've got this. This is their one thing. And I embrace the trolls. Like in my lives when I'm not doing lives, when people come in when I'm not like battling other people. I will and I don't I have a no kick policy in my life. If you want to come here and tell me I've got a tiny dick and that you're gonna go do things to this and that, I'm like, hey man, more power to you, brother. And that's the easiest way to get them to stop. If you just acknowledge them and go, that's cute, like, he's like, I bet you have a tiny dick. You're like, you know, it's not the biggest, like, you know, but I'm I'm okay with it. They're like, well, that didn't work. Yeah. Yeah,

Reza Ghaemi: Embrace and exaggerate. Embrace and exaggerate. Yeah.

YaBoi: you gotta embrace the suck.

Reza Ghaemi: All right, so let's let's get into some more serious questions here. what makes somebody magnetic online? So you've seen countless personalities come through these rooms. You know, why can one person hold everyone's attention while someone else can't? I know personally, I try to go online on Meet Me sometimes. Believe it or not, I I don't get five people in the stream sometimes. So how talking about what it takes to really make it into these Some of these platforms and what it takes.

YaBoi: So the one thing that everybody I've I've had this question asked to me. If if I had a nickel for every time somebody asks me this question, I've had a I've had a lot of nickels. the most important thing when you start your live streaming career is consistency. And when I say consistency, it doesn't even matter if you do it one day a week or once a month, but as long as you do it consistently. If you if you like to stream Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from three o'clock to six o'clock, then

Reza Ghaemi: Mm.

YaBoi: you are able now to, you know, if you keep doing that over and over and over, you know. No, no, sweetie, I'm doing that. Can you please no go, please go over there? Sorry, one second here, guys. So you have

Reza Ghaemi: It's okay, yeah, yeah.

YaBoi: to be consistent. That's the most important part. You as long as you're consistent, that's the start. As long and then you gotta go from there. It that's the start.

Reza Ghaemi: And the reason why consistency matters is what? Because when you're developing like your audience wants to know when they when they're gonna get to see you, is that the main reason?

YaBoi: Yeah. If you're just period if you're just I mean, it works for some people. I mean, if if you got a, you know, a cute face and a big rack, it might work for you. But for the non for those non-of us, you know, if you like going live at some three to five every day or three days a week, keep doing that. Be consistent. And if you're going to change your schedule, let your chat know. Let them know one way or the other. Hey, I'm not gonna be live this day. So that A, they're not looking for you. And B, they that they have that you've passed the information on to them to keep the going.

Reza Ghaemi: And by the way, I think this is not just for Meet Me, but any type of TikTok streaming too.

YaBoi: Yes.

Reza Ghaemi: Consistency is key. now.

YaBoi: Even in YouTube content creation, if you post if you post a video every Tuesday, or if or if you post a video Monday and then you post a video Thursday and then you post a video Saturday, you know, if you're posting videos every single Tuesday, they're gonna know, yeah, Reza's video comes out Tuesday right around noon. I know that, so I can be on the lookout for it.

Reza Ghaemi: Right, right, right. And and so how do you actually logistically do you put that on your profile that I'm live on this day and this time? How do you make it known?

YaBoi: So there's multiple different ways. You can do it that that's the easiest way. Have it in your bio, you know, have it in your profile that hey, I stream these days. This or like or if you have shows for if there's things you like to do, you know, you don't have to just like some people turn this into like a full production company where you go, I do a show on this day called, you know, A B and C and then on Tuesdays I do this show called, you know, sports casting tonight, you know. So as long as you just give you have to give the people away, whether you're telling them. Or you have it in a way that they can read and write or the way they they can read it as well.

Reza Ghaemi: So to talk, let's talk a little bit more about some of the steps to get started with streaming. Obviously, you know, the setup, let's not talk about the technology side of things. They can YouTube that, like, you know, I don't know. Good, good camera, for example. Well, you're using your phone, so I don't even want to talk about that stuff. Talk to me about the setup and how to get started with streaming. And if somebody wants to give this a shot, like tips and tricks, that kind of stuff. You know, if if you can.

YaBoi: Yeah, absolutely. So, I mean, first things first, just go for it. Yeah, at very at the very least, you just just press the button. Whether if you're on TikTok, meet me, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, it doesn't matter. Just do it. You know, the scariest thing is the first initial, just doing it. You know, it's everybody gets all that anxiety. what if people say people are gonna say a lot of shit. Okay, they're gonna say a lot of shit. So just get that out of your, you know, just like Joe Rogan says, I don't read the comments, you know. So you just, but it the first thing is just committing to it and then just be yourself. More than anything else, don't try to pretend to be somebody that you're not because you're gonna get called out on it eventually. That's super important.

Reza Ghaemi: wait, can you can you double click on that a little bit? When you say be somebody that you're not, you're talking about like your let's say the show is about something. How talk to me about what you mean by that.

YaBoi: Just be genuine. You know, you want to be your genuine self. You don't want to try to masquerade as somebody else because you're in front of a screen. You know, like, yeah,

Reza Ghaemi: Authentic, authentic.

YaBoi: you want you there needs to be authenticity or people are gonna recognize that you're full of shit. And then they're gonna be, you know, turned off by that. And that's gonna just lead to something else where, you know, you're just gonna have to keep on doing damage control at that point.

Reza Ghaemi: I see. So you just like you don't put on a fake persona. Like if if you don't know about something

YaBoi: Unless that's your whole shit, because unless you can unless you're confident that you can keep that persona, because there's a lot of people who do it. And I am blown away by their level of commitment to just being that person. And then when you talk to them off camera, you're like, my gosh, I had no idea that you weren't like that. And it was like, yeah, no, that's all just an act on stream. So if you can

Reza Ghaemi: wow.

YaBoi: do it, it's just hard. Because if you break one time on camera, then everyone's gonna go, that's not who that is.

Reza Ghaemi: Nick, is there somebody that you've met through streaming who genuinely impacted your life or became a real friend when when you never expected it?

YaBoi: my god, multiple people. my buddy Daniel got me into the music industry. He's yeah, I met him on this app in a DJ battle that he was judging. He got me in to open for DJ Quick, to open for Bone Thugs and Harmony, and he became a

Reza Ghaemi: Wait, did you say quick? Wait, did you say DJ Quick? Wait, who's DJ Quick? Isn't that DJ Easy's DJ?

YaBoi: Yeah, like the world famous Hall of Fame DJ Quick.

Reza Ghaemi: Wait, no. Okay, okay. I'm I might be mistaken him, but I was thinking quiz. I'm sorry, I'm thinking DJ quiz. Quick. Yes, okay.

YaBoi: No. But I've opened for him. Like I was able to be Yeah, I was able to get massive opportunities because of him. And then I've met a ton of genuine people, just people who've become real life like friends of mine who I've met in real life, who I've either they've come to visit me or I've gone to visit them. And I mean, another one of a good friend of mine is my buddy who lives out in England. His name's Viking. We've been friends now for three years. We hang out almost every day. We drink, we chill and He's become my best friend and we live, you know, five thousand miles away from each other.

Reza Ghaemi: Amazing. And what about the negative stuff? Is there is there problems that have come up from a result of streaming?

YaBoi: thir yeah. you have to make sure that you're managing your time properly. You can get sucked into this real quickly and you can kind of lose track of other things that you're doing, especially because there's a thrill to this. So it's important that you make sure that you keep your head on straight because you can get sucked down this rabbit hole really, really quickly.

Reza Ghaemi: Y your other priorities in life. And and I think of the adrenaline, people coming into your show, you don't want to end the show and the live, rather, right? That's all that's all important. Nick, I was gonna ask you, what would actually what would you actually miss more? Let's say Meet Me Disappear Tomorrow. What would you actually miss more? The platform itself or the people you've met because of it?

YaBoi: definitely say the people that I met. I mean, you can always find I mean if worse comes if this if the if the it let's say the internet just disappeared tomorrow, I can always go back to the bar and still talk to people. So it's the people that I met doing this. If this was just a platform to give me an opportunity to put my face out there in front of more people. But at the same time, I don't think it'd be any different if it I would still I'd be you know I'd be upset because I probably wouldn't be able to see the same people that I've met. But at the you know, I wouldn't it would it would be something that you could rebuild and push through.

Reza Ghaemi: Amazing. And just one closing question. after everything you've experienced streaming and meet meeting people online, what do you think human beings are ultimately looking for? And when they log into an app or looking for when they log into an app like Meet Me, what are they looking for? Are they looking for friendship, love, lust, whatever? What are they looking for?

YaBoi: Man, I kinda to piggyback on what I said earlier. I think it's really just within the eye of the beholder. It's some people are looking for lust, some people are looking for fame, some people want to be the good guys. I there's plenty of people on these apps who have shows that are all about being positive and you know, positive affirmation and things of that nature. And then there are also just tons of people on here who are just would love to see the world burn. And so You you really but the good thing is is depending on what you want to do, you have the ability to find a group that's what you're looking for. You know, if you if you're a big fan of cooking, for example, you can there's plenty of different places on the internet where you can find people who love to cook. If you're a fan of golf, there's plenty of places where you can find people who are fans of golf. It all just depends on what you're looking for as a person. For me, I think I wanted to be an entertainer. So I guess my answer would have been fame, you know, or notoriety. But, you know, it just depends on what where you at and what you want, I guess I would say.

Reza Ghaemi: Beautiful, beautiful. Yeah. No, I agree with you a hundred percent. I think it's With AI. You can use it in a good way, you can use it a bad way. With technology, same thing. With these streaming apps, same shit. So Nick, is there anything else you want to say before we end the show?

YaBoi: if you're looking to get into the live streaming thing, you know, it's It's awesome in a way that you get to explore these different cr places, but at the same time, just be careful. Okay. Just like anything that you get into, you know, take it one step at a time. As I always like to say, left foot, right foot. Okay. You know, you gotta crawl before you walk, you walk before you sprint. Don't try to don't try to run a marathon and flip flops.

Reza Ghaemi: And when you say be careful, you're talking about like trusting people, for example, or

YaBoi: Tru everything, you know, if it if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. You know, if

Reza Ghaemi: Mm-hmm.

YaBoi: if they're offering you like just be weary on the internet because there are a lot of people out there who are trying to take advantage of you and will say that they're your friend and they will say that they'll pay you back and they promise that they'll do it. And next thing you know, you're stuck in a hole that you never was supposed to be in in the first place.

Reza Ghaemi: Some magic bullets. Thank you, Nick Healing. I appreciate your time today. It was such a fun conversation. I think this is a this is such a how do I say a lot of people are streaming these days. It's such a cool market to be in, but at the same time, thanks for those last words that you mentioned. Be careful, be weary. it was a pleasure to have you on, Nick. And I'll see you on Meet Me. I'm gonna hit all right. So

YaBoi: Yes, sir. Thank you, thank you.