Empty Nest, Now What? Rediscovering Love and Yourself with Rick & Clancy

Reza Ghaemi: Hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to the season two of the Rez Podcast, the show where we have real conversations about relationships, personal growth, mental health, confidence, and the experiences that shape who we become. I'm your host, Reza Giami, and today I'm joined by Rick and Clancy, the couple behind the loud quiet. I had the chance to meet Rick and Clancy in person at the Empowered Podcasting Conference in Charlotte, North Carolina. We ended up having lunch together, got to know each other a little bit, and when I learned more about their story, And what the loud quiet represents, I knew this was a conversation I wanted to have on the podcast. So today we're talking about a stage of relationships that I don't think gets discussed nearly enough. What happens when you've spent decades raising your kids, building your routines around your family, and making being mom and dad such a huge part of your identity? And then suddenly the kids grow up, leave for college, and it's just the two of you again. How do you rediscover each other?

Clancy and Rick Denton: Mm-hmm.

Reza Ghaemi: How do you keep the spark alive? How do you maintain your own identity and a sense of purpose? And how do you deal with that loneliness, sadness, or uncertainty that can sometimes come with entering the next chapter of life? That's what we're getting at into today. Rick Clancy, welcome to the Res Podcast.

Clancy and Rick Denton: Thanks, Rez. Thanks, Rez. That was a great intro. I love that. Yeah. We're excited to be a part of the podcast today. Thanks so much for having us.

Reza Ghaemi: Thank you so much for being here. I'm excited too. ⁓ so I guess the first question I have for you both is, well, Clancy, I I read that before your daughter left, you asked Rick, what if I don't like us when she leaves?

Clancy and Rick Denton: ⁓ yes. The burning question. The question that started all of this, actually. But yeah, you know, she's our youngest, and it was spring of her senior year. And we've been together for you know, together 30 years, married 26. So I knew that. we were gonna be good. But yeah, it's just that we have been parents for, you know, twenty one years at that point. And so we were going back to just being us. And while I was excited, there was a little bit of nervousness and anxiety of okay, what is this really going to look like when it is just the two of us again? I think I hear I listening to your answer there, and I know we've talked about this a few times. I think there's a little amnesia going on there where you're like, you know, I I knew that we were going to be okay. I think at that point it was a genuine feeling of I I just don't know what this looks like. At least, certainly that's how my ears heard it, because my ears heard it as what if I don't like you? Yeah. When she leaves. It was the unknown. I mean, it really was. It was going to be the unknown. And we have now three years of being in this known space, and it's it's it possible to look back, but I think at that moment, I think both of us, while we may have had confidence, there was not certainty that everything was gonna be okay. And it really had that sort of, ⁓ no, what is this going to be like? Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: In my opinion, I've never had kids. I'm I have a a par you know, a girlfriend, but to me it just seems like isn't it a relief for them to go? Like I don't I just don't know if I have enough empathy towards this. I don't understand. Like I thought you guys would just go on a cruise, go on vacation.

Clancy and Rick Denton: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. No. W We were ver I we okay, I I was very excited about not having to be the full time mom duty again, but you have these children that, you know, our conversations, even when we would go out on dates, tend to revolve around the kids, even You know, when we were trying to make just us time. And so you take that factor out of it. And again, while I was very much looking forward to the freedom of the schedule and the ability to, yes, we can just go travel now whenever we want to. It's that mixed with okay, I had a big identity crisis of what am I? now. I mean, I know I'm still their mom, but they're not in my house. I don't see them every day. I'm not taking care of them every day. So I did. I had a little bit of ⁓ probably more so than Rick did, but not to downplay the dads, because it's there too. But, you know, I had been the main caretaker for them for, you know, all these years. And so yeah, I had a little bit of a freak out of, ooh, what's my life going to look like for me. And identity is a key part of that shift and the change that and yes, absolutely. I I went through that as well. Re Rez to answer the the or to to talk about the where we were leaving. Yeah. And I think that's something that people don't appreciate until they're going through it is that both of those emotions are felt at the exact same time. That you can be just giddy with the fact that, you know what? On a Tuesday, we can go out if we want to, because there aren't any sort of ski kid or school activities to coordinate around. And at that same time, as you're getting ready to go out on Tuesday, you can look up at the empty room that where they used to be and be sad about it. So both are woven together, and it's that evolution of your identity combined with that dual emotion phase that is so disorienting as someone enters this phase. Now we are the first and the loudest to say how much and how awesome this phase is, it's just incredibly disorienting at the beginning.

Reza Ghaemi: Got it. Got it. Now, when it comes to your relationship, the two of you, did you have to rediscover that, you know, the Rick and Clancy as a couple? Talk to me about what what kind of steps did you take? What did you do to kind of build that spark again that was, I guess, lost for some time? I'm assuming it was lost. I don't know.

Clancy and Rick Denton: That's interesting. I wouldn't say maybe maybe not as bright. Well, or maybe it was a different colored candle or a different scented candle because i there was still a candle, there was still a flame. There just was the reality of there are kids involved in your house and they are an active part of your life and just the daily rhythms of life. ⁓ Clancy and I did a really good job of still maintaining who we were as a couple

Reza Ghaemi: Not as bright. Yeah. Okay.

Clancy and Rick Denton: throughout the time of raising our kids, including date nights. We we joke about that later in life we got to do real date nights, go out, do those sorts of things. But early on, when the kids are younger, you may not have the resources to do that. You may not have the time to do that. Babysitters aren't cheap. And so date night for us early on was a frozen pizza and yeah, this dates us a bit. A VHS recording of the Friends episode that night. And we just were able to spend that time together, but it was always something that we chose to do to cement that. So the flame never went out. It definitely was different. And we had to rediscover who we were as a couple without kids influencing what our rhythms were. If you think about the time of life, we dated and were young married without kids for a lot less time than the time that we were. Parents with kids. And it was interesting that first summer when our daughter came back, our son had already well, he stayed out where he was in school. And it was like, dude, you're kind of cramping our style now that you're back. And so we had to then shift into, okay, she is here some, but You know, she was working too. But yeah, it really we had gotten into the flow of just being us again and then she came back and it kind of reim interrupted it, but we got back into it real fast. It doesn't take a long time. We got back into it real fast because we chose some very specific things. You have to be intentional. Yeah. We we have we we still live in the same general metro area where we were as young married, but we're in the suburb of that general area. Well, once the kids were gone We actually have really enjoyed rediscovering Dallas is the area that we live. We live in the suburb of Dallas. Well, all the things that we did when we were dating, there's actually some of the same restaurants. There's actually some of the same bars that we went to as young. And so we went to those places and just the physical place itself would reignite those memories of the past that allowed us to really enjoy what this present and what the future could be. with each other as a couple that had kids out of the house.

Reza Ghaemi: Hmm. ⁓ okay, okay. ⁓ interesting. so I guess ⁓ back to, you know, tell me more about like the feeling of how do I say, like, how often do you see the kids once they're gone? Do you have a consistency of them visiting you and you visiting them? And does that sort of thing help with the, you know. The emotional that an emotional lack that you feel when they're gone or?

Clancy and Rick Denton: Yeah, we have been blessed that we both of our kids went to school, rival schools in Arizona, which, you know, we have to get on a plane to go see them. But we were very lucky that we could go once a month, which we have kept that up even through our daughter being out there. And it gives us a chance to stay connected with them physically and also meet all their friends. I mean, their friends love When we come, we take them out to dinner. Well, yeah, of course we do. And so, you know, we've gotten to know their friends. And when our son came back to law school, he is actually in Dallas, ⁓ living in a town home that we have down there. And so we see him actually quite often his girlfriend, we are actually very close with her parents. We knew the parents before our kids started dating. And so We tend to all venture down to Dallas and even on nights that we're just going down there as couples, the kids will text us and be like, Hey, where are y'all? Do y'all wanna come over? 'Cause they want us to go over and take them out somewhere. So so we do get to stay in touch with them. And it is it is nice. I mean, we have always been very close with our kids and so it's nice that we get to maintain that. But like when we were just out there moving our daughter back in for her last semester, we still found time to take time for just us. We love to hike out there and she's not usually up at that time of the morning. So we could still find time for just us as a couple, even when we were out there to see her. That's when you were saying that, I was saying the the parental bribery, right? That's how we we get the kids and I think I think they sincerely enjoy our company, but if not, we'll just bribe them to to be with our company. I think too, there's also we're discovering parental boundaries as well. ⁓ we mentioned going out there once a month, and there may be some folks that are like, ⁓ okay, you're not really all that empty nesting, right? 'Cause you're seeing your kids that often. Even when we go out there, we joke with our kids about this, even when Tanner was the one out there alone. We're going out there because it's a trip for us. Travel has always been a way that Clancy and I have connected as a couple. And so, yes, we are able to take a child out to dinner and that child isn't done with us after dinner. We get to have a trip and our own experiences as well. And it has been important to, especially at the the very beginning, where both, you know, our child and us are. in that disorientation moment. Well, to set up sort of those boundaries. Clancy has has talked about this several times of parents don't go out and visit your kids in that first month. We've talked to other university leaders who have said parents don't let your students come home in that first month so that everybody can begin to establish their their rhythms. And we have found that our relationships with our kids are a young adult kids have gotten even stronger. And I think a lot of that strength comes from some of those boundaries as they are able to establish who they are as young adults, not just the children of Rick and Clancy.

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah, no, I respect that a lot. yeah, I I just I guess how important is it for each person to have their own hobbies and friendships?

Clancy and Rick Denton: ⁓ vital. Yeah. Required. Yes. Uh-huh. We're actually about to talk about that later this week on our podcast. As we went through a relationship check-in, if you will. Clans and I work together. ⁓ we are in business together. We ⁓ and the empty nest actually decided to go into business together. So it even upped the intensity of togetherness to a level that some couples don't have that are working separately.

Reza Ghaemi: Mm-hmm.

Clancy and Rick Denton: And we have it has been it's actually been important even before that to be your own self, to the interests that I have, many align with Clancy's interests. There are a lot of interests that do not align with Clancy, and she is more than happy for me to go enjoy those interests without her, and vice versa. So that there is an existence of who Rick is, there's an existence of who Clancy is, not just Rick and Clancy. And that's been vital to us. Yeah. And I think the friend aspect of it, I have my established girl groups that I've had for years and we still go out once a month at least. And but going into the empty nest, a lot of your friend groups revolve around your kids because you've met them at the activities that your kids are involved in. And so You know, that was something that going into this, we were like, okay, we're not losing all of our friends because the ones that we're very close to, we still remain close to, but you don't have those built-in activities that you're going to see those people at every, you know, Friday night lights was huge for us and so every week. But you again have to think about it and okay, what are ways that we can make some new friends and we started a life group through our church for empty nesters. And so we have a few couples that we have been with now for I guess three years. And, you know, we're we're very close. And so that you have to put yourself out there. And that's not easy. And it wasn't easy for us either. But we knew going into this, we had to again that word be intentional. You have to plan some things that you may not be the most comfortable doing. I I want to add to that too, that that intentionality, it is it is especially hard for men. It's hard for adult men to make friends in general. It is even harder for adult men to make friends in the empty nest. And that's and I'm not here to say that I've actually solved for this. I now have some very good friends But it is an ongoing realization that, you know, when we were kids, you had this just gaggle of friends that you were part of. And that just kept getting smaller and smaller and smaller over time. And one of the things that we see in studies is that relationships with others, specifically friend relationships, are a key factor not only to longevity, but the quality of that longevity of just simple life existence. And that's an area that men really struggle with. And and so we do, we make an effort to really talk about that, not to say that I or we have got it solved, but that it's vital for ⁓ specifically to find that because it's just not natural for us ⁓ i it in our adult lives to do that.

Reza Ghaemi: So ⁓ yeah, that basically when I look at my own you know, I have a sister and she's going through that as we speak. And you're right, a lot of the friends that she has are as because of her son. And I'm just curious, are you really telling me that once her son goes ⁓ away, ⁓ moves out, all those friendships are gonna just, you know, be destroyed after that? Is that really how

Clancy and Rick Denton: Mm-hmm. ⁓ Not not all of not all of them. Not all. No, because we still have several that we get together with frequently that were friends that we made through our kids. So no, not all of them. The s the strong ones will survive, but there will definitely be the you know, ones that are maybe more casual that do fall off because they're busy doing other things with, you know, maybe they're going to visit their kid, maybe they're have you know, or or they move. That's another thing. A lot of people, as soon as those kids are out of the house, they're gone. They leave, you know, I mean, we will probably be leaving the suburbs too in a year or so. But there are a lot right now of I have a friend who was telling me, you know, two or three of her friends are moving to other states. or to other parts of our state. And so not everyone always stays in the same place. And it it it's the strength of the relationship is what probably keeps it going. So like in your sister's situation, there there are bound to be some relationships. It's also what was the other elements of connectivity beyond did you just sit on the bleachers together on Saturday watching your kids play soccer? Did you did y'all go to dinner separately? Did you do this or And that's the intentionality that Clancy's talking about is if that doesn't exist as you move in the next phase, and let's be honest, life is all about change. There's all sorts of phases. There is a time to do this and a time to do that. That's all part of life. And what doesn't happen without action is this I this additional activities. This ⁓ you have to go out there and choose them. So whatever your sister or whomever is interested in. Then just lean into those activities. We started a life group. But if if Clants and I wanted to join a a batgammon group, I don't know, I'm having a hard time with thinking of something. Well, pickleball is used and we've talked about it. We never seem to go do it. But if we join a group that ⁓ a and do things, then that's how relationships are made. It's just the natural inertia to stay where you are. Well, the kids left. So things have changed. If you don't change the connections that you have with others, you'll just have that that staleness inside the house. And that's the intentionality that Clancy talks about.

Reza Ghaemi: ⁓ let's switch gears slightly. I want to talk about physical intimacy and how that plays in keeping a long term relationship connected. If if you if you can discuss that. I don't know, is that

Clancy and Rick Denton: No, yeah. I mean no. Fine by us. We're open. Hey, ⁓ anybody that's uncomfortable with this, you can stop listening now. Because we're not. I was actually just thinking about when you were talking about, you know, yeah, the kids are gone. And you know, okay. Adults will know. When your kids are here and you're trying to have adult time, you close the door and lock the door. At least that's what we did. Well

Reza Ghaemi: Right.

Clancy and Rick Denton: So when she left, we're like, All right, no, we have her cat and they and so we still have to close and lock the door. But that was a lesson that was learned in an awkward way the first time. Like, sweet, we'd have the door open. So one of these days we'll be able to just have the door open. Or alternate room choices, right? You know, th those days are long gone.

Reza Ghaemi: Cats get in the way for sure.

Clancy and Rick Denton: It it's clearly is vital. And we were we were just talking about the the level languages and different people have different levels of need for that le affection. And it's not just sex, right? You use the word intimacy. It it there are there's a whole degree or spectrum of what intimacy means. Intimacy it let's try to say that word. Intimacy can be a really in-depth emotional conversation. It can be a hug, it can be a caress on a a cheek, it can be sex, it can be all of those things. I think the absence of almost any of those categories is Is a detriment to the relationship. And I think it's like a lot of things. It requires honest communication around that. Maybe as people age, as bodies age, there could be different desires, there can be different interests, there can be all sorts of ways that intimacy changes. And it's incumbent on us as a couple and couples to talk about what that is because yeah, Physical intimacy is a key part of my life language. And if it just suddenly went away, well then that would greatly impair the relationship. And thankfully it hasn't. And that's a connection part for us. And I think to your, you know, younger listeners, you have to nurture that all the way through your relationship. I mean, there were definitely times that, you know, we were in that roommate stage because it wasn't happening because life was just crazy and you have to stop and check in and have conversation about it and get back on, you know, the right path. And again, it it doesn't necessarily just mean sex. It's all of the other things that you addressed with intimacy. But yeah, I mean, you have to nurture that all the way through. You can't expect to not to, and then the kids are gone and you're like, all right, great. You know, we're just gonna have all this crazy sex and be intimate all the time. No, that won't. that won't happen. No, 'cause it it's not like suddenly you've just you you're different people in different couples all of a sudden. It does it does present I guess freedom it presents you don't have to worry about necessarily a kid in the house. When our kids do or I guess now just T and when she comes back from summers, yeah, that does kind of adjust the intimacy and how and when things take place. But it's not like and we joked about that at the beginning. You know, I I think a lot of empty nesters, especially stereotypically guys, but not exclusively guys, think, all right, it's just gonna be naked empty nest. Yeah. No. And it's not. And that's a good thing. Because there's good naked and there's bad naked. And empty nesting and running around the house is bad naked. And it is funny how, you know, they do still find a way to like text you right in the middle. There have been way too many texts during ⁓ couple's time. So yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: Yeah. Yes. Right, right. So I guess ⁓ how do you balance being a couple ⁓ with still being very involved with ⁓ involved parents to adult children? I mean, if that makes sense.

Clancy and Rick Denton: Yeah. Mm-hmm. That is where, you know, we talk about boundaries and we are still very, like I said, very involved in our children's lives. And now we have kind of moved from the coaching role into more of the consultant role. So we let them approach us. If they have a question, you know, we're not calling them and saying, Hey, did you pay your rent this month? Did you, you know, but if they have a question, we are happy to guide them through it and always be here with them. Just be supportive and listening. You know, our daughter had a horrible freshman roommate situation that was just really, really bad. And it it took a lot in me to not get on a plane and go out there and fix it. But we had to just listen to her. And when she asked us for advice, then yes, we offered advice. And I think it just comes down to you have to know your kid and we're you figure it out. It it's a, you know, it's a learning process. And and you have to accept that your role has changed. I think that's where a lot of parents may find themselves in trouble is they just aren't cognizant of the fact that their role has changed. You now have a young adult.

Reza Ghaemi: Mm-hmm.

Clancy and Rick Denton: And it really gets muddy when your kid is in the university stage because because a lot of parents are still funding or at least involved in some aspect of financial involvement with their kids at that stage of life. And so it can get really muddy. We adopted that that attitude very much of the consultant attitude. Something that we learned though recently is we have always Yeah, I think I'll say always. Always said that we had started asking more questions than statements. That was a key part of how we parented now, as opposed to you should do X, Y, and Z. Hey, how are you handling your automatic rent payments? Well, actually, it was a a university family engagement ⁓ leader was telling us that one of the things they advise is sometimes questions actually put pressure on kids. And so even that has to be met with a sense of almost that intentionality and just thoughtfulness around is this question putting pressure or is this just conversation? Is this a way for us to just be connected as two humans really, learning and having a conversation as opposed to perhaps a question that could apply some pressure on your kid? And I would say too, also just to parents that are not empty nesters quite yet. start moving into that role like in their junior, senior year of high school. Because b at that point they should be able to, you know, be getting themselves to school, be doing their assignments, you know, we there's all kinds of things that you can get into to see their grades. Even in college you can do that. And I was like, what? Are you kidding me? I had no idea that was even a thing. But, you know, we stopped letting go of checking their daily assignments and that kind of thing. When they were in high school, I said, you know, you're in high school now, so you're responsible for how you do in this class. And, you know, that will set your future. So that's up to you. Another thing I would say is from a young age, we were very transparent with our kids and very honest with our kids. If they asked a question, we always gave them the honest answer, age appropriate, but the honest answer. And that has really shaped how much information they were willing to share with us later down the line. Sometimes too much that I didn't need to know, but but I would say that if that's a comfortable place for you to be, just being honest and transparent and sharing with them the ways that you messed up. I mean, you know, our kids know the things that we did not do right in life. And I think that just shows them, okay, mom and dad have turned out fine and they had some bumps along the way. And so I just think that that's another good way to stay connected with your kids and it will come back in their adulthood.

Reza Ghaemi: Breaking Clancy, what is a healthy frequency of how often you are FaceTiming with them and talking to them on the phone? Is it daily, weekly? Hopefully it's weekly. Not monthly, I mean I mean not monthly, like hopefully it's a you know.

Clancy and Rick Denton: ⁓ yes. Well I would say texting is probably daily something. But not always. Yeah. It's not always. Now

Reza Ghaemi: Texting is daily. You guys have I assume you have a group chat, ⁓ like a WhatsApp group chat or something is that

Clancy and Rick Denton: We do. We have so we have several different we have several different way too many careers and stuff. Well, this is three people. What if there's a gift being discussed and no, we are definitely, you know in communication with them in some form or fashion, probably daily, I I would say. But yeah, because I don't always now when they were both at college and like

Reza Ghaemi: Okay. Okay. Okay, good. And that's healthy. Is that a healthy in your opinion?

Clancy and Rick Denton: I still if I don't hear from my daughter like for a day, then I'll just text and say, Hey, how's it going? Everything good. She's are not as much of a communicator as our son is. but then like today we talked to her on the phone for thirty five minutes. So it's just She's very much ⁓ if there's something to talk about, she's gonna talk about it. But if there's if it's just regular standard the the the day's happening, yeah. She's not that

Reza Ghaemi: Mm. Right, right.

Clancy and Rick Denton: I will say that we're I don't think we know where this is necessarily going, Rez, but we're right in the middle of another communication shift. Clancy talked about the one when they went off to university, we wanted at least a daily proof of life. As our son became as he met his girlfriend and as they developed a deep relationship that is likely to lead now to marriage, it used to be that we would get the stories first. Something good would happen at school, something bad would happen at school. Something at a law firm would be good, something would be bad. We'd hear about it and we'd hear about it in depth. Now sometimes sometimes we don't even hear the story. And sometimes if we do, it might be a couple of days later, or it might be indirectly routed through the girlfriend to the parents back to us. And so we're we're learning how to c stay in communication with our young adult son as he develops. The relationship that is likely to be a bearage relationship where it is right for him to leave us and cleave to her and be his own independent family unit. So we're in the middle of that right now. It's definitely, it's definitely different being the mom of the son. I will just say that. It is definitely I and I am aware of it. And so yes, I have had to I was used to him calling me first for everything. Well, yes, now he does not. And so I have to just take that. And I and I'm fine with it. I I love his girlfriend. I was like, I don't know that you're fine with it. I think we're just adapting and evolving through it. It's different. It's changed. I have become fine with it now, I think. Because it's been over a year. So but yes, that was that was difficult at first because I was used to him. And and I will say he will still still reach out to me first for things like, Hey, what medicine should I take for this? So at least I'm still like number one on the Well you get the nurse card, right? You've got the medical background. So you always will win that one. Yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: Right. okay. ⁓ wow, this has been a lot of fun and there's just so many, so many things to talk about. I hope I hope we can do this again. But I do want to keep it at the 30 minutes, respect your time. ⁓ so if you could give one piece of advice for for parents, I mean, this is you know, w I think we're we're making it seem like it's easier than you know, than it really is. I I I empathize. My sister is going through some things right now and it's serious. Like she's so what would you say to those parents whose kids are going off to moving out and ⁓ your biggest advice if you could give them your bit you know, best advice on what they can do, whether it's to read your book or anything like that.

Clancy and Rick Denton: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Why yes. Of course I would suggest the book. But I will say just give yourself grace and time because you want them, you're so concerned about them adapting to their new environment, but you need to adapt to your new environment too. So just take time and give yourself grace and make sure you're taking care of yourself, you know. the first weekend we were home, I told Rick I didn't want to be in the house. And so we didn't. We left and we went to a neighboring city. And if that's something that you can do, you know, just give yourself grace and time. I like the the grace part. I I was thinking similarly to what Clancy was when you asked that question, Rez, but I'll go a a d another direction. Something we often say is say yes. And in the the way you ask the question, it's say yes to your new role. Your role is new. So say yes to what it is, what it can be. Say yes to the opportunities of what that new relationship with your adult child could be. Say yes to activities that grow you as an individual. If you're part of a partner relationship, say yes to the activities that help you grow in your partnered. It is it is a change. And by choosing to say yes to what that change is and really jump into what the greatness is of that next stage of life can really open up a lot of that, I guess, a lubricant to move you through that into that great stage of life because it really isn't just a stage of life to survive. This is a stage of life where you can thrive. And we really sincerely mean that. Yeah. Enjoy the freedom. ⁓ yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: And and and I would say just one last thing, you mentioned g give them a healthy space and boundaries in terms of how much you're being involved with them, especially in that first month of them being gone, right?

Clancy and Rick Denton: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yes. For sure. Especially that first month, but then ongoing. That's really part of the say yes is is say yes to the fact that they are young adults and they are going to live their own lives and they may make some mistakes and that's okay. Let them do it.

Reza Ghaemi: Ongoing. Well, the next time I have you on the show, we're gonna talk a lot about the mistakes that these guys guys make. 'Cause that's that's a whole other episode of its own.

Clancy and Rick Denton: Well just we can bring our son on and he can he can tell tell you about how much fun he had his first year. She's Arizona, he's Arizona State, so he kicks it up and yeah.

Reza Ghaemi: That was ⁓ yeah, Arizona. We talked about this in Charlotte. Yes. ⁓ Arizona State. Yeah, yeah. Clancy and Rick, ⁓ where can people find your book and you know, any anything you wanna tell the listeners in terms of where to find you and all that stuff?

Clancy and Rick Denton: Yeah. Yeah, the best place to find us is and everything's there at theloudquiet.com. You can find the podcast, you can find the community, and you can find the book itself there. We have some free bonuses that go along with anyone who buys the books and lets us know about that. Theloudquiet.com is the best place to find anything about the way we approach this emptiness living.

Reza Ghaemi: Awesome. Thank you so much. It's been such a pleasure. So eye opening for me and for the listeners, I'm sure. And ⁓ thanks again for for being on the show and I'm looking forward to ⁓ having you on again.

Clancy and Rick Denton: Awesome. Thanks so much. This was great.

Reza Ghaemi: Thank you.