Confidence Comes From Competence: Dating and Social Skills with Madison

speaker-0: Hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to the Res Podcast, the show where we have real conversations about relationships, dating, personal growth, confidence, and becoming the best version of yourself. Today's episode is a particularly special one for me because this conversation goes back more than a decade. I first discovered Real Social Dynamics or RSD in 2014, during the era when the company was the forefront of dating, confidence, and personal development. I attended their programs, became deeply involved in that world, and took away lessons. That had a significant impact on my confidence, my dating life, and ultimately the way I viewed my own self-worth. I had the opportunity to learn from some incredible people during that time, including Owen Cook, the founder of Real Social Dynamics, Julian Max, Jeff, Todd, Madison, right here. And ⁓ others throughout the organization that I'm sure I forgot to mention. There are experiences from those years that I still remember vividly. Todd interviewed me over Skype for the RSD immersion program in Las Vegas. I had the privilege of heading out to Death Valley, California with Max and driving us through that experience. And I first met Madison when he was with Sam in San Francisco at a conference. So having Madison sitting down with me today really Does feel like a full circle moment. One of the things I respected most about RSD was that beneath all the conversations about dating and meeting women, there was a much deeper emphasis on inner game and personal development. Concepts like confidence, self-worth, authenticity, and especially congruence, having your thoughts, words, and actions aligned stayed with me long after those programs ended. They influenced not only how I interacted with women, but how I carried myself as a man. That's the big reason why I'm genuinely grateful Madison accepted my invitation to come on the show. More than a decade after discovering RSD, I now have the opportunity to sit down with Madison on the Res Podcast, someone who was part of that chapter of my life, and have a much deeper conversation about what confidence, attraction, dating, and self-development actually mean today. Madison, I'm truly honored to have you here. Welcome to the Res Podcast.

speaker-1: Thank you, man. Lots of fun. Let's go. Let's let's rock it. ⁓ warmer introduction. ⁓ I like the flowers now that I'm alive, I can still enjoy them. And ⁓ yeah, everything you said about the guys that are on the that you listed, ⁓ everything is true. ⁓ I ha I'm very happy to be part of that golden age of stuff to develop what people now know as like the Manosphere that didn't even exist back then. ⁓ I'm happy to have started like did you know, we did the world tours back then and that was before digital nomads even existed. Everybody thought it was strange. Now it's the new normal, so Yeah, happy to h be here and just like, you know, chat.

speaker-0: It's a pleasure, Madison. And you're you're from Toronto. You're based in Toronto and you're in Vancouver right now for work.

speaker-1: Yeah, I'm here on in Vancouver right now doing an immersion program, which is like a five day sessions of dy daytime, nighttime social media, working on their presence and the helping guys get the abilities to either find quality relationships or to get better deals and better promotions. But I am based in usually in ⁓ Toronto and ⁓ but I was born and raised in Montreal. I'm like a French Canadian, so I speak languages. Yeah.

speaker-0: Damn, that's ⁓ that's a plus for sure. So, Madison, I know you're a busy guy, so let's get right into it. ⁓ how should this is a this has been ⁓ sort of like this long life ever since I've been in RS involved with RSD programs and stuff? Like, I noticed that this to be a sort of misunderstanding among a lot of men. So what I'm asking you is how should a man go about feeling entitled enough to talk to a beautiful woman? And What I mean by that is if I'm not a rich guy, how should I still have the confidence? So where do I get my confidence? And a lot of people mistake this for money. So talk to me about that.

speaker-1: Competence comes confidence comes from competence at the end the day. Look, we're guys, we can't blow smoke up our ass all the time and lie to ourselves and be like, I'm confident. I have abundance. That's the key word. I have abundance now. But like meanwhile, we're still like living in our mother's basements. We're like not really good at talking to people. We don't have a social of friends and we feel crap. But the second that you get the social skills to actually go out and start a conversation with somebody and you realize those conversations lead to phone numbers and meetups. You then have that ability to have competence, competence. And that competence leads into the ability to get a sales job, do ⁓ business development, start a podcast, start a conversation, which leads to more confidence. And then because you have that confidence, you feel better. And it leads into like a flywheel effect of every time you have a success, your brain remembers it. A positive reference experience that you can do it. That's how the real confidence comes eventually. So it's not just like affirmations of like looking in your mirror. And wishing the world was a better place and telling yourself that you can do it, it's actually getting out there and taking action. It's a first step. That's why taking action is so key.

speaker-0: And is that why Madison, we always I've heard this example used in sort of like from the pickup coaches traditionally is like they would say like the guy is a as a marine or a navy SEAL, he kills people, but he doesn't have the balls to go up to a girl. He has approach anxiety. Well, why is that? That's crazy to me.

speaker-1: Yeah, confidence doesn't translate to all areas. You can be competent in one area and not in others. I have athletes, I have guys that have billion dollar companies. I have guys that play for the Cardinals, the Seahawks in my DMs, guys that you've seen on the Joe Rogan podcast in my DMs, and they still have the same issues that you're all facing. We've all heard before the guy gets gets rich, gets a couple million dollar contract, bl blows it in like three years on some OnlyFans chick. Because he has confidence in that one area of football that he's worked on his entire life or his career. But he hasn't done it in the other areas. So it doesn't translate over. But social confidence is the kind of thing that in any area of life, you have it in your business, in your personal relationships, and even in your family life, conflict resolution is the key or the first step to unlocking like greater potential.

speaker-0: Amazing. And this competence that you're talking about, in my experience, comes from cold approach pickup when it when we're applying it to dating. So is cold approach pickup still a fucking thing. The way it used to be?

speaker-1: I love that question because you would think now with Instagram, Instagram just DM somebody. That's a conversation right there. Many of us spent three years in the pandemic ⁓ locked in a house. I had a guy who was 21 years old on a program the other day. He never even danced a girl because he had his prom on Zoom. And you realize that like at the end of the day, even if you meet somebody online, they're still gonna meet you face to face at some point. And if who you're a badass, you're a baller, you're a top G, you're the Don Juan online. But then face to face, you can't like hold a sentence together for a couple of moments or conversation together. They're gonna be like, no, no, thank you, and they're gonna pass. Also, now we want authenticity more than ever. So if we meet somebody face to face and they're amazing, that's such a rare occurrence that we have now in these day and age that we remember that person even more. So if you ask me a few years ago, I said, ⁓ cold approach is dying. Now it's back and it's better than ever. Because those skills, those soft skills, are irreplaceable. Now with AI coming in and everything else, people are really just locked in their computers, but they don't have the basic skills to even go out and like make conversations face to face. And while you can do it and you're magnetic, charming, charismatic, and you have presence, you stand out like above all the rest.

speaker-0: Okay, okay. Now you mentioned something that the sort of that faking it. So so like Instagram for example, if I have an Instagram profile, how do women use Instagram to sort of see is this guy what he says he is? How important is Instagram?

speaker-1: Right. Instagram is super important. So back in the day we've had something called attraction triggers attraction triggers, which are like leader of men, ⁓ you're respected by your network and your peers, you have replication value, you got some money, maybe you're confident, you're outgoing, you're a risk taker. ⁓ all those things would be attraction triggers. And then what happened shout out to mystery, and then what happened on Instagram is people stopped looking at the attraction triggers. They're just like, ⁓ well, I see it online, so it's there.

speaker-0: Shout out to Mystery.

speaker-1: They're still kind of looking for it in the pictures, like an adventurous picture, a picture of you on stage in front of a bunch of people, picture of you on a podcast, means you're doing something in life. But they start to substitute that for the real thing. Now, people are still looking at Instagram to see if you got your shit together, but the real thing is still priceless. The real thing can't be compared. Every once in a while guys are frustrated because they'll like meet a girl, the conversation doesn't go anywhere, and it's and then they got like a shitty Instagram and it dies out. True. But also if you have a great conversation with somebody and your Instagram is baller, those two things together just put you on a whole nother level and make you unstoppable. So I really tell guys to do all of it. You can't leave any stone unturned right now. You gotta have the whole package together. It's not just like just only the cold approach. It's the cold approach, the Instagram, the social life, everything. That's the key to winning right now.

speaker-0: Yeah, because at the end of the day, Madison, if if you're you're if you're on top of your game, the best cold approacher, ten out of ten, sort of and you and let's say like the girl meets you and says, What's your Instagram? You say, I don't have one. That's weird as fuck, right? Like how could you be a cool dude and not have a fucking Instagram? In my opinion, that's

speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, Instagram is like Instagram is like the LinkedIn of your life. So if somebody wants to hire you for a resume, they're gonna go to your LinkedIn, they're gonna check out all the jobs you had, who you know, your connections, how many times you post. If somebody likes you and they want to hire you for a role in their life, they're gonna check out your Instagram. And if your Instagram is put together, it's well curated, they're like, ⁓ this person is who they presented themselves to be. And very often I have shitty interactions, I'm in a rush, I'm going somewhere, I'm on the bus, ⁓ I'm doing something. And then I just swap Instagram and the person's like, ⁓ shit, I didn't know you were that guy once they finally add you and it blows their mind and it's on a whole nother level. So when you have it, it's an advantage. It's like that digital footprint that's always gonna be there. We were at an event last week for Polo, ⁓ a polo club, which is very high level stuff, old money, people that have had money for generations in their family. And that page Reese shared one of my Instagram posts. Now I got Ms. Bogota on my DMs hitting me up. I got like the guy who owns a cigar company. And the guy who owns a fashion company, all my DMs, and I was cool there, but I think the Instagram and them sharing my Instagram photo put me on a different level. So it's it's irreplaceable. It's like the next level game. When you have all the all the stones of the infinity gauntlet, it's like you're Thanos in this bitch.

speaker-0: ⁓ Madison, one of the things that I'm truly grateful for with the RSD and Real Social Dynamics and Owen Cook yourself, Julian, Max, Jeff, Todd, and the entire team, what they taught me about inner game and congruence. You know, Owen Cook, Tyler, he just would talk about the congruence all the fucking time. And so for me, it was a big part of it in in terms of how to stay real and authentic in terms of my interaction. So If what you're saying doesn't line up with what you're actually thinking, feeling, or doing, does that eventually get exposed during an interaction?

speaker-1: Hundred percent every time you approach a woman or a new person, they're thinking one thing, is this person lying to me? They're not aware of it. It's like subconscious in their mind. Is this person lying to me? They're always trying to fill it out. So if your thoughts, your words, and your actions don't align, then they feel something is off. You're not being authentic. I was on a program last night, on an immersion program with a student, and I said, What do you want? He goes, I want to have abundance. I was like, Great. That sounds nice, but what do you really want? He's like, I want to have abundance. I'm like, okay, go up to somebody and have a conversation and try to feel like you want to have abundance. It doesn't work. The conversation doesn't go anywhere. I said, watch what I do. When I walk into somebody, what I'm narrating in my head is exactly what I say. That's my opener to the conversation. So my narration is like, ⁓ that person like walks interesting. They have like a cool vibe or swagger about them. Kind of like they're in a rush to go somewhere, but they're also kind of a curious person. You know, now walk up and I'll say that, hey, you what? I like the you walk. It's got like a cool swagger to it. You're g you I get the feeling that you're an adventurous person, but you're also kind of in a rush. So I don't wanna keep you. They go, ⁓ actually, it's okay. We can talk. My thought that I have when I see the person, the initial thought, is my narration. Even to a point where sometimes it might sound like I'm being vulnerable. I'm like, ⁓ that that girl, she's she's out of my league, man. This girl's like, I'm not in the mood today. I'm like in my sweatpants and I a lot of shit in my mind. I was working, but I wanted to say hello to her. ⁓ you what? Hey, walk over. Hey, you what, to be perfectly honest with you, I wasn't gonna approach because I had a lot going on in my mind. It was technical, you know how it is when you're working at a desk all day. But I'm like, listen, you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take. So here I am. What's up, Madison? And it's not that it's the perfect opener, but the thought, words, and actions are aligned, and so it works. And the person goes, they're not lying to me, they're telling the truth.

speaker-0: Yeah, because you're the way you're opening is is natural. It's real, right? Now but but that's not to say over get in your head, because I remember Julian, if you remember from a very ⁓ epic program he had in the back in the day, he would say the opener doesn't fucking matter. Tattoo that on your arm. It's what you do after that, it's ⁓ how you calibrate after the open. So is that related to what you're saying right now?

speaker-1: Yeah, you're never gonna have a perfect open, but you always have like a perfect intention. As long as you're in alignment and your intention is perfect, then there's no bad approach. Okay. Right? If like if I'm thinking to myself, hey, that person looks interesting, there's somebody I want to meet, but they look like they're in a rush and I walk over, Hey, what's up? Thought you were really interesting and I you know I want to meet you, but you're in a rush and they just walk off. Then I go, ⁓ yeah, I was right, they are in a rush. ⁓ They're probably shy and nervous. Like my inten my alignment was always there. I'm never assuming bad about people. I have a positive look on life. So even when it goes bad, I'm assuming the best of them. Right? I remember I was out with a student last night and we saw some ladies there. They were at a Irish pub and I waved to them and they didn't see me. I go, ⁓ they probably didn't see me. Rather than assuming, ⁓ they just don't like me, I'm like, they probably didn't see me. Walked over to them, ⁓ hey, what's up guys? I was waving at you. You totally didn't see me. Like, ⁓ yeah, you're actually right. ⁓ where are you from? ⁓ we're from the UK. We're here visiting. you know, so like assuming the best of people, even when it's going sour. If you have a great alignment, it usually goes great. That's after the opener. Everything after the opener works.

speaker-0: I see what you mean. I wish I remembered Tyler's six steps. He had these six steps. Did you remember that shit?

speaker-1: Yeah, I do. I used to I saw them. And Yeah.

speaker-0: Something funny. find something funny, open all, ⁓ frame it in a funny way. Yeah. Frame the interaction in a f like have something funny about the interaction. Push it forward, yep.

speaker-1: Yeah, push it forward with every single interaction you have. Yeah. And there's one

speaker-0: It's in my notes app, it's in my notes app, I swear.

speaker-1: I I I broke it down to I I follow it was exactly the same ha thing would happen. I go out on program and I teach that. I teach a lot of Owens programs and I realized six steps was too much for people to remember under pressure. So I broke it down to just three. And for me it's it's the first thirty minutes of the night, you want to get into the environment. That's like high fiving people saying hello to the guy who's your bus driver, asking your Uber driver if he's if he knows any hot clubs, talking to the doorman, dancing to the music, what it's meant to be for. The club's got a cool couch. like explore the cool couch, pet the the felt or the velvet 30 minutes into the environment. Then next 30 minutes you get into your body. It's getting physically loose. Like whatever approach you have, you get a little more physically loose. To the point your weight is not on one point, your weight's like fluctuating. A little bit more physically into your body. And then last 30 minutes of that you finally get into your mind. See most of us do is we go to a social environment and we get into our mind first and that hurts us. What do I say? ⁓ I'm not good enough. ⁓ I can't talk to that person. What did I say last time? Last night I was amazing. Why do I suck now? We get into our minds and that should actually be the last thing we get into when we go out socially.

speaker-0: Hundred percent. amazing, amazing. Thanks for sharing those three steps. okay, I want to talk to you about looks. do looks matter or is it them the way this is a I'm sure we're gonna offend some people. But for a man, Madison, I'm not talking about a man that smells bad or doesn't take care of his his grooming, okay? Of course those things are essential. But but Does a man, for example, need to get a nose job or fucking you know what I mean? Like d do those looks matter for a man? How how much do they matter?

speaker-1: Thank goodness that ugly guys have game 'cause we can talk our ugly face away. The real answer is do looks matter? Yes and no. So looks don't matter, but your presentation always matters. Your presentation is your style, it's your grooming, it's how you're put together, it's the your smell, it's how you come across, even how you speak is your presentation. Your presentation always matters. And the truth is the way you look and you dress and your style puts you into a tribe. You know, the club guys in LA they wear all black, you know, black sweatpants at a club and they get in. It's like that's a tribe. If you're ⁓ into rock or punk or s or ska music, you know, there's a certain way you dress, w like the plaids and the chains, that's a style. If you're into hip hop, there's a certain way you dress. That's the thr the dreads, maybe ⁓ you know, the other kind of clothing. That's a style. And if you're going to a polo club, guess what? You wear some brown suede or velvet loafers, you wear a knitted brown belt. then all of a sudden it signals old money and you know the higher echelons of status and you're in that club. So it's not that the looks matter, but the presentation is always important.

speaker-0: This is what mystery used to refer to as your avatar. Now, Madison, we didn't we didn't touch on what I wanted to, which is is it the same for women?

speaker-1: This fuck with you. Go ahead.

speaker-0: No no. If you're a woman listening to this, is it the same for women? In my opinion, it kind of a little bit is that stuff does make a difference. But what's your take on that?

speaker-1: If like a v looks matter for a woman.

speaker-0: ⁓ n everything you just said about everything we were just saying, was it about men or was it about sex?

speaker-1: Well I think I think women women okay, I'll answer that two ways. I think women look at the looks and say, Is this guy dependable? Is he well taken care of? Does he get it? Is he in the know? Is he in the know? Does he know what's going on? Like when a woman has like a certain type of shoes or a certain type of purse, it's not because the purse or shoes matter that much. It's like what it signals to everybody else. Everybody's in that tribe, everybody's in the know. So a woman does look at a guy and say, Well, does he fit along with what I'm imagining myself to be like, be with? Right? And it looks better on a woman. Well, unfortunately women are l judged more on their competency from their looks. Women are judged like if they are intelligent based on their looks. ⁓ you know, they had that movie s c the supergirl movie that came out the other day, and a lot of women said her hair is a mess. She should have blew blew out her hair with a hairdryer, would've looked better. Like Gal Gadot and Wonder Woman. It did Gal Gadot's not not that great of an actress, but she did better 'cause her hair was better and she looks better. And then the Millie, ⁓ the Millie girl had like a bad look on the film. So people didn't like it. They were to comparing her to a cave woman, which is horrible, but you know, they said looks matter when it comes to the superheroes. So imagine how much more looks matter when it comes to this like women navigating everyday life. We're judged a lot on our presentation and the way we come across and communicate. For a guy though, we're a little bit more lucky because for a guy it matters more what we what we say when we open our mouth. That's the other part. You know, women women judge men based on how the guy makes them feel when they when they're listening to him. emotions that he can imprint onto the other person. But also for a guy, that that changes his whole trajectory of life. He could be an amazing dude because he can speak well. You can be a great orator. I think some of the greatest orators are like Minister Louis Farrakhan. I'm not Muslim or a nation of Islam, but that guy speaks, I'm like, wow, I'm hanging on for every word he says. Because of that, he can create a cult following. A lot of women are surprised when they get on social media and they can't speak or have no personality and it's dead. I have a girlfriend of mine that's like a great girl I I respect her a lot. She's like a nine on ten, beautiful, stunning, perfect body. In the gym like six to three hours, three to six hours a day, five days a week. She doesn't have a job. Her boyfriend support her supports her. And she only has four thousand followers on Instagram because she has zero personality and she can't express her personality. She's great to hang out with. She's like spontaneously funny. She reacts to things. If you say something, she'll react in a way you don't expect. It makes everybody laugh. But she can't like transmit her personality over the camera. So she's judged on her looks, but it's not enough to bring her across the line, unfortunately.

speaker-0: Interesting, interesting, interesting. no, that was well very well said. I agree with everything. so Madison, I know you do a lot of the social circle stuff too. and here's my just before I ask you the question, it's a little bit in my opinion, good in theory, but in reality, Madison, you know what I'm gonna say? If I throw a party with a bunch of strangers that are gonna come to my house and steal my shit. And trash my house and steal my shit and trash my house and call the cops on me and et cetera et cetera et cetera. So this fantasy that the coaches create with social circle game, talk to me step by step, man. How does it really work?

speaker-1: First of all with all the stealing stuff and slashing your tires, you gotta stay away from the Latinas. I'll tell you that before that.

speaker-0: Shout out to the Latinos.

speaker-1: Yeah. But you're probably exactly where you wanna be. Anyways having this they're having stuff stolen and just their tire slash

speaker-0: Canada there are no Latinas Madison.

speaker-1: There's one, her name is Stephanie, probably. ⁓ yeah, I I think I think with the not with the Latinas, but I think with the ⁓ the social circle, for a long time I didn't support I didn't wasn't a part of it. I didn't support it, you know. ⁓ there's some of the two or three of the biggest social circle coaches that exist in like South America and around the world. They hit me up and I've been to the I've hung out with them and ⁓ I went to their their big parties in the mansions. And one guy was like, Yo, I went to your I went to your your free tour six years ago. I'm like, man, my bad, I didn't recognize you. Yeah. I was there six years ago and you said social circle was bad. I said what you said, why? I said, because before to be a social circle person you had to be almost like a club promoter. It's a part time job. Right? You had to like have the skills to be a club promoter. You had to like get girls come to the venue, get paid two dollars ahead, walk out with sixty bucks and you like wasted your whole time for it. But now with Instagram, you don't have to be a club promoter. You can just do like Instagram ads or you can do different Instagram groups. group Instagram group chats and you can still have that like whole social vibe, the whole social system. It's but it at the end of the day, if you're weird if you're weird, nobody wants to hang out with you. Unless you just got like free alcohol, free booze, free food, and you got somebody comp in all the stuff. But if you want to do it based on like your personality, which is even better, that's gonna be harder. You have a personality there. Because once the food runs out or the boat trip runs out or whatever, then People are gonna want to stop coming. All the social circle stuff that I teach my guys is based on their interest and who they are as exchanging value. So have a cool passion, whether it's like a taco night, a c a a coffee night, whether it's ⁓ going and riding horses, whether it's bowling, whether it's you want to get everybody to do post whatever, a barbecue on your rooftop, you want to bring all the people that are artists that you know together, like whatever you want to do, that's cool. But your personality has to also be there to make it stick. Otherwise people are just there for the thing that they get and they're not there for you. They're not exchanging value with you when shit gets hard. I also tell guys that look for people in your social circle that are the people that are like if I bring women, even if they're very, very pretty women, they're not just there because they're pretty. It's like they're there because they're pretty, they show up on time. If the girl's late, she's distracting everybody's Uber, she's making us late. We all can't get in the front door. I'm not fucking with her. You know, it's also that the girl like helps to clean up. She gotta be the type of girl that comes in, like helps to clean up after the party and doing dishes. Or like taking the garbage out or something. If she's just there for the free ride and she bounces, it's not gonna work out. And I also need women that add energy. I don't want to feel like I'm babysitting anybody and like I'm taking care of a kitten, a stray kitten that needs milk on the corner of the street. I wanna feel like I'm taking somebody with me that adds to the fun and I have more energy when I'm around them instead of less energy when I'm around them. And of course it helps too if the girls like make a good impression on the guys. We're walking around the venue, there's a business guy over there, there's an owner over there. Hey, let me come each introduce you to Stephanie. Let me introduce you to Toxic Latina number two. And he's enjoying his time, his conversation. He's like, Man, this guy rolls with cool chicks. I want to see this guy around more. So in those respects, I think social circle can work. But again, it all depends on your social and interpersonal skills. If you don't have those skills, then people are just using you for a free ride.

speaker-0: Okay, and it comes those those skills are taught in the cold approach phase of your journey. Correct?

speaker-1: Yeah, social circle built on no cold approach will fall like Rome. Social circle that's built on good cold approach skills will persist like our Western revolution, you know? It will last for a long time 'cause it's built on solid foundations.

speaker-0: Yeah, no, thanks for sharing that. something that I I'm a DJ, Madison, right? And ⁓ I've done nightclubs, I've I do weddings, ⁓ but I've done nightclubs. I've been ⁓ you know, I've seen how it is I like to go out at night to clubs, right? And I what I notice is a lot of drug use in the club culture these days. When you're when you're taking your students to boot camp and like let's say they're pulling I what I notice out there, man, is a lot of these girls and guys are into into the white, into the cocaine and shit. How do you filter out those people who are expecting that at the end of the night when you're pulling?

speaker-1: Yeah. Well the first thing I tell guys is I tell them to go to the club as sober as possible. That's the first part of it. If they're sober, then they're not gonna attract people who just want them for like free booze or free free whites, you know, the China white or whatnot. They're gonna just get people that are just down for the the energy. If the guy is sober too, there's a the benefit to it, which I'm sure you probably know, is that he remembers the experiences and those experiences are all real to him. He has like a drunk personality. And ⁓ or stroke personality and like a sober personality. And when you go out and you do things, you're drunk high, you're not really remembering it. It's not sticking your personal. You don't feel like you actually earned it and like you did it. Your brain knows the difference. And when you go out and you're sober, ⁓ your brain's like, I actually did this. And you can take those little experiences and they s they lock into your competence. We talked earlier, your competence. When you're drunk or high, no competence and no confidence long term, right? Just short term. That's the first thing. And when if you do that, you know it's gonna attract a lot of people that are in that same vibe. You know, I was talking to a girl the other night, she was like having a a drink, she was out on like on a on a a bench like next to the outside this ⁓ street festival, and I wasn't really having to have a drink with I told her I'm like, Yeah, I got a lot of work to do, a lot of call. She's like, ⁓ I wanna be I wanna be s d reliable too, or something like that. She said, I wanna be like that too. And just because you're sober. And people might tease me be Why are you not drinking? Just have a drink of me. It's like, nah, that's not my thing. You know, that's and then they might tease you about it. And you say, Hey, there's no place in my life for disrespect. There's no place in my life for people that are saying vibe. I'm on a I'm on a hustle. I'm on a legacy run. I'm locked in. And if you tell that to them, they might be down for it and you'll just find better quality people. You know, it's not worth trying to convince people to ⁓ to not drink or to not ⁓ get into drugs. You just kinda filter out based on your own energy and who rolls with you.

speaker-0: You don't want to fuck with with chicks that do that, right? Obviously.

speaker-1: Too many problems. I mean, listen, man. Just be you there's there's no one else. Listen, it's just you and me. Between between guys, guys in 2026 can't have can't afford to get themselves into a situation where the girls is intoxicated. And she may not remember it, she may remember it. She might be willing, might not be willing. But you don't just want any grey area. You don't want any grey area. And especially if you're a guy who's ambitious in life, you got some things going on you're happy about, you're successful, you got a promising future. Ain't worth fucking it up over a girl who's drunk and then decides that maybe ⁓ Yeah. She was a little too drunk.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Madison, I know we're rap I'm you're a busy guy and so I wanna respect your time. But knowing what you know today, if you could go back and talk to a young guy who's struggling with women, doesn't feel confident, and doesn't believe he's good enough yet, what would you tell him?

speaker-1: You're probably right. Do something about it. Don't don't don't punk out. Do something about it, right? Like you have a choice. You have a choice to choose. Maybe you can't have the outcomes you want in life, but you can start to change your beliefs. And the first part in changing your beliefs is changing your actions. Before that, it's changing your focus and being aware of your thoughts. So you start to have negative thoughts that are going on. I can't do it. It's not worth it for me. Every time I tried before I failed, first of all, change your focus. What could be this different this time? What's the good about me that I haven't appreciated? What's the good about people that I'm not connecting with? Right? Change your focus. Change your focus, you'll get different actions, different better aligned ⁓ approaches. Different actions, different beliefs, you'll believe different things. And down the road, different outcomes as well.

speaker-0: And then fucking hire Madison as your coach. That's like the first step. No, I I No, that could be really good.

speaker-1: Exactly. A lot of guys feel like a lot of guys feel like ⁓ they'll wait ⁓ to get this part of their life solved. I don't think this part of the world will get easier. We're gonna go into AI robots soon. Sex robots, we got crazy inflation. Life is not getting easier if you're a guy who's like twenty years old to like thirty five years old, the best time to get this kind of stuff handled is now. 'Cause it's not gonna get easier. Nothing in life gets easier the longer you wait. Everything that happens is bad habits get calcified and solidified in the longer you wait. I have guys that come to program that are twenty five that learn that are it's easier for them to learn than guys who are forty and divorced because those bad habits are already there. And we're trying to unpackage a whole bunch of bad habits. So the best time to make action on on this in your life is not a marketing thing. It's like it's now. Literally it's now. And some other guys think, Well I'll wait till I have my money, my career, then I have my money and career exactly where I want it, then I'll do it. No, same thing. Bad habits is calcified. And like At that time we all know a whole bunch of guys that have money that still suck and women just use them for their money. And then they get divorced and they lose half of that money they had anyways, 'cause they never learned the social skills and they never learn human dynamics.

speaker-0: Hundred percent, Madison. Madison, thank you so much for coming on the Res Podcast. The conversation genuinely means a lot to me, man. RSD was an important chapter in my own development, and many of the lessons I took from that period have stayed with me for more than a decade later. It's pretty incredible to go from meeting you back in those days in SF to sitting down together here today. I I hope that we can meet up in Toronto. I ⁓ I'd be happy to to be your DJ, I'm sure you throw parties. ⁓ I'm not gonna charge you. and to everyone watching or listening, if you enjoyed this conversation, make sure you follow the rest podcast and subscribe. Madison, where can people find you before we go out before we go?

speaker-1: Yeah, on YouTube, Madison Social Coach, and there's a whole bunch of links to my live in person programs and my mentoring programs there that are really incredible. And if you're on Instagram, you can go to Instagram, Madison Social Coach on Instagram, and just DM message me the word stuck S T U C K. And we'll have a conversation and see, you know, we can get you sorted out.

speaker-0: Thank you so much.

speaker-1: Pleasure. Thank you. Cheers. And by the way, you own me a photo. You sent me photo with Max the other day. You said that I was in a photo at some point. If you can find that photo in your archives. Yeah.

speaker-0: Yeah. I gotta check my previous MacBook ⁓ it it might be in the drives. It might be in the drives. All right.

speaker-1: You can't.